Be Intentional About Creating Intergenerational Friendships

As a young person who has a gift of obtaining and retaining knowledge, especially theological knowledge, I can fall into the temptation that I have this life on earth figured out and do not need help. I could not be more wrong. I would not know this if I did not feel convicted to be intentional about creating intergenerational relationships. I want to encourage all younger than fifties to find several older than fifties friends to live life with on a deeper level. I attended the funeral of a patriarch of his family and church this week. As I looked at those who were attending the visitation and funeral, I could not help but see the intergenerational mix that was present because this man had been intentional in creating friendships with many generations. He believed in living out the Titus 2 life and teaching young men how to become men of faith. He left a long line of godly men behind him and gave us hope for the future of male leadership in the church because he invested so much of himself in those younger than him. Since I was born into the church, I also could name older, godly men that had invested in him and taught him. What a beautiful thing to see that God has been faithful to provide a line of godly men in our church that ran through him, but it looks like, by God's grace and the obedience of His servants, is not going to end with him. Last year since I had a child living with me and this summer since I had multiple children living with me, I tended to think that I did not have time for many things. I was wrong. The problem is that I did not make time. I ended up spending more time than I had planned at the house of one of the ladies in the church. I was having problems with the child who was living with me and it seemed like nothing worked. It turns out that this lady had also been a single mother (and I knew that) and had some of the same problems with her son. She had many words of encouragement to offer, not just advice. I left thinking how in the church we seem to think that we need to pretend our child does not have problems or that our child is the only one with these problems. Guess what. In a church the size of ours someone else has struggled with the same issues we have with our child. Try to find that wealth of wisdom and encouragement. Older ladies whose children are grown, volunteer in the children and preschool ministries so you can spot that parent and child. Young mothers need encouragement and ideas. Give the encouragement first and ideas when asked. I know that as soon as encouragement was offered, I asked advice! So many times we say, "I do not have time." Guess what - many older ladies do have time and are willing to love on you and your kids while helping you. Seek out a second mother or adoptive grandmother for your children. Invite them to events so that there can be a second set of eyes on your child who love your child. Invite them over for dinner and let them help you prepare it. Cooking is much more fun with two instead of one. By the same token, older ladies, bake an extra loaf of bread and take it over. Cook a big pot of soup and call a younger lady up to ask if her and her family would like to help you eat some of it (boy, did I enjoy those surprise meals last year!). Now single friends, I am not going to leave you out. Guess what - you can do it too, even without experience with children of your own. Your schedule is a little more free to spend that extra time with someone older or younger. Learn to cook and share with a young family. Be the extra set of eyes on children and learn to love them. Go to visitations and funerals. Quick side note - I am glad that I was trained to go to visitations and funerals. I do not know if it is a Southern thing or a church thing or maybe even an American thing. What I do know is that I am encouraged to see young families bringing children to the funeral home with them and teaching them to show compassion for the family. Death is a part of life and should be taught in an age appropriate way to children. Also, compassion is learned and it is a great opportunity to teach compassion. Back to the topic at hand. Learn a craft and help others do it. Like to scrapbook? Find that mother in the church who is sending her child to kindergarten but still working on the baby book and help her with it. More can get done with an extra set of hands and extra eyes on the kids! Titus 2 tells us that we are to live our lives as teachers to the next generation. It is not too early to start. Our legacy is to lead to the glory of God and His faithfulness. He is faithful to create generations who follow Him when the generation before is obedient and faithful. One final thought - there is a period in your life where you are likely investing in the generation you are raising. That should be the priority for a while before you take on a mentoring role. Just know that there is an empty-nester out there who can help you make it through this time. There is a widow whose family has moved off and she wants nothing more than to be a doting grandmother to your children. There is a couple who wants to open their homes and hearts on a regular basis to your family. Make time for that. You may be called to minister to them through an illness, but also be the encouragement to them that they have left a long line of godly men and women who are going to faithfully serve once they are at rest in the arms of Jesus. What an encouragement the younger generation can be to those who are at the end of life and concerned that the work of the gospel may not continue. Be faithful and love others. Be humble and learn from others/teach others. When you are serving, bring someone else along with you to learn by example. Live out your theology instead of just learn about it. Once we learn to make time for others, we will figure out that we have time for what is important and will experience the blessing of living life together from the cradle to the grave.