Forgiveness

I have probably written on the topic of forgiveness before, but since unforgiveness continually pops up in this life, I can never write enough about forgiveness. Forgiveness is one of those lessons that is painful to learn because it can only be learned by forgiving. You have to be sinned against in order to learn to forgive. In our human relationships, we are constantly being sinned against and sinning against others. Some sins are more painful than others. Some betrayals run deep. At some point we are all faced with the need to forgive.

There is a common misconception in the idea of forgiveness. I have noticed that us humans tend to see forgiveness as something we do for ourselves. We think that we need to forgive to keep ourselves from becoming bitter. We think we need to forgive to heal our own hearts. Although a true attitude of forgiveness will result in a healed heart, this is not the purpose of forgiveness. The purpose of forgiveness is to restore our relationship with God.

When we have an attitude of unforgiveness, our heart is sinning against God. Our heart is telling God that the sin someone else committed against us is worse than the sins we have committed against God. We put our pride ahead of God. We fail to see the correct perspective of our own sins. The absolute worst sin someone has committed against you cannot compare to the sins you commit against God on a day to day basis. This is a difficult realization to come to when you are on the path to forgiving others. No human wants to admit or even come face to face with the magnitude of the sin that we commit against God. However, when we have a heart of unforgiveness, we are sinning against God. The bitterness and discontent in an unforgiving heart comes because our heart is sinning against God. Unforgiveness affects our relationship with God. We cannot draw close to Him because we are not being honest about our own sinfulness.

Forgiveness is not easy. It is never easy to confront your own sinfulness so that you can put the sins of the other person in perspective. The Holy Spirit must give a spirit of conviction and humility to the person seeking to forgive. It is not a pleasant process, but it is a process that leads to a closer relationship with God. Only then can the heart begin to heal because the most special relationship is being restored. Only then can the Holy Spirit begin to reconcile relationships. Only then will the forgiver reap the benefits of the forgiveness. So yes, forgiveness is the only way to make yourself feel better, but it is not the purpose of forgiveness. Forgiveness has to flow from a heart of gratitude towards God for His willingness to forgive us when we have sinned against Him.