Being Sensitive to Suffering

I have clearly seen throughout my adult life how God usually prepares us to go through the things we go through. I feel like God gives us little warnings before the unexpected happens. Maybe it is more of a benefit of a life of discipline. When we are disciplined enough to be faithful to the study of God's word, we can find ourselves prepared.

I have been going through a 2 Thessalonian precept study. I did not really want to do 2 Thessalonian this spring, but I feel that when the opportunity presents itself, and there are no other ministries that take priority over a Bible study, you should do it. This week's study was over the first chapter. One of the insights I had while studying the first chapter, reading verses on suffering and affliction, and looking up the Greek definitions of the words is that suffering is much deeper than just suffering ridicule for the sake of the gospel. It comes from Christians and non-Christians alike when you are being obedient to God's word. You will take actions that no one understands when you are being obedient. Part of obedience is getting involved in people's lives to the point that when they suffer, you suffer with them. We limit suffering for the sake of the gospel when I think it is a little broader when we are loving our neighbor and getting involved in their lives.

For example, Jesus befriended Mary, Martha and Lazarus. He was involved in their lives. Lazarus got sick and died, and Jesus suffered. He was grieved by the pain of His friends Mary and Martha even though He knew that God would be glorified in Lazarus' resurrection in the end. He was sensitive to their suffering even though He knew the outcome. He ministered to them in their grief. He went through this grief for the sake of the gospel. Ultimately God was glorified.

Yesterday, I received news that my little guy in New Orleans lost almost everything in a fire that completely destroyed their apartment. By completely, I mean that no possession other than a few shoes in the back of the closet seem recognizable. Even though I knew that God would provide for them and that things will probably be better for them in the end, there is still a sensitivity to their suffering that must be shown. It breaks my heart to think of some of the things that they have lost. Some of it can sort of be replaced such as pictures because I have most of the pictures anyway and clothes and toys and books, but there are also those things that cannot be replaced. When you get caught up in someone's life, you have to be willing to suffer with them. You have to be ready to sacrifice something of yourself. You have to be ready to grieve. Even though no one ridiculed my faith or held a gun to my head, I believe that it was a day of suffering for the gospel. If I did not love my little guy and his mother, I would have just thought it was a sad situation, but not allowed it to disrupt my life. Instead, so that God may be glorified, I allowed myself to suffer with them. I could show them love through actions, not just words of comfort. Even better, not too long after I received news of the fire, I received an e-mail from a friend I have not heard from in months on the subject of suffering. God is so good to us!

Excuses, Excuses

Whenever someone finds out that the part of my job that I enjoy the most is representing children in CPS cases, I am usually met with excuse after excuse after excuse. I think I am going to do a global response to the excuses, although I usually am much more politically correct when I actually respond to the person. Here is what I really wish I could say.

(1) Excuse #1: I could never do that, it would just be too hard.

I usually say, yes, it is hard. I still feel like I should do it anyway. What I really want to say is, if you think it is hard for you, think about the child that has no one to speak for them. Think about the child that has lived it. Might it be nice for that child to know that someone felt what happened to them was wrong? Might it be nice for the child to know that it is not their fault, and might you be able to tell them that? Might it be nice for the child to see that you cared enough to get involved when their parent does not even care enough to go to a few parenting classes and drug rehab? The child is going through things that adults want to close their eyes and ears to and that the child is not able to comprehend.

The right perspective to have is that it is a hard job that we are called to do. The Bible makes it very clear that Christians are to be the voice for the fatherless, the orphan, the oppressed. There are not outs. It is what God requires. It is not my command, but God's. This does not mean that the only way to help the fatherless, orphans, oppressed is by getting involved in some capacity in CPS cases. What this does mean is that if you look at your life and cannot see a way that you are helping the orphan and fatherless, you might be sinning. Although I have great respect for Compassion (and support some children myself), I think that this means more than just sending a check to an agency to do the work for you. I think it means getting involved and speaking out on behalf of the oppressed. For me, it means being an attorney for the children (and parents). For you, it might look like getting involved in CASA, volunteering to be checked into for a respite possibility for a person who is housing a child, or looking into fostering. It might even look like stepping in to help a family BEFORE the state comes in and befriending that family. Take some time to teach someone how to parent. Is it tough? Yes. Is it worth it? Yes, if for no other reason than knowing that you are in God's will because His scripture commands it.

(2) Excuse #2: I would just worry about the children all the time and be unable to sleep at night

I have had very few sleepless nights as a result of my CPS work. Part of the reason is that by the time that the case gets to me, the children are out of danger. Yes, I have feared for the children when the judge put them back with a parent. I also have called a caseworker to move the kids because I feared for their safety. When you are in the case, if you really fear for the child, you are able to do something about it. I guarantee you that I would lose more sleep from the realization that I am not in God's will than I lose knowing I am at least trying to fulfill His will. My response is usually that I sleep just fine, you learn to shut your brain off. What I wish I could say is how are you able to sleep when you are doing nothing and this is going on all around you? You should be the one losing sleep!

(3) Excuse #3: I do not have the time

I am usually pretty blunt with this one and suggest that the person find a way to make time, whether it be by volunteering one hour a month at a local pregnancy center, a little more to be a CASA volunteer, or donating some time to a local group home. I always emphasize the giving of time more than money in that situation. See I usually know that the person who says it religiously watches American Idol or Biggest Loser or some other TV show that takes at least an hour of their time each and every week. I do not usually get this excuse from the young mother who really does not have spare time and is raising her children in the way that God lays out in Scripture and truly may be in a season where sending the Compassion money and donation checks is how she is able to contribute.

(4) Excuse #4: If I helped out other kids, it would take something away from my own

My usual response is a faked, obviously lying, "I understand." I compound sin by sinning myself. Really, I do not understand. This is the excuse that gets under my skin the most. The reason it does is because those who say it are usually the people that are idolizing their children. They do not see themselves as idolizing their children. However, they are the ones that are posting tons of pictures of their own children in the best of clothes with the best of stuff taking the best vacations and bragging about the accomplishments of the children. The children become the center of the parents' universe. The children become even more important than God, often made clear by the parent choosing the child's activities over religious upbringing. I am not saying that if a parent has a hard time feeding their own child, that they should take a foster child in. I am saying that when a parent spends all of their time and energy and money on their child instead of teaching the child to do without in service to others, there is a problem. The children often grow up selfish and conceited and do not have a concept of sacrificing for the benefit of others.

I propose that families should evaluate whether fostering and adopting might be a way to put the gospel on display for natural born children. Instead of saying that it might take something away from the natural born children, families should look at how children might learn about the gospel through the family's actions. Christians are God's children by adoption. Think about how great it might be to show children about how God adopts us through an earthly adoption. If adoption is not the route that can be pursued for various valid reasons, consider at least teaching your children about the needs of the fatherless and orphans and oppressed and let them see what you are doing to help. It does not help your children for you to shelter them or even try to, especially when you send that child to public school. Guess what. There is a pretty good chance that your child is going to school with another child who is being abused, neglected, talking about drugs, using curse words all before the child is a teenager. Your children are exposed to it day in and day out. Teach them to be part of the solution.

If your sixteen year old son is on drugs, yes, you probably need to focus on that child. If your children are babies and toddlers, you probably are right that it may not be best to foster/adopt at that time.

(5) Excuse #5: There might be something wrong with the child and I do not know if I can handle it

I usually say, you are right but there are ways provided for you to handle it. If you are a CASA volunteer who finds yourself in over your head, there are others who are more experienced that can step in. If you are a foster parent who finds yourself in over your head, there are opportunities to change the child's level of care so that they can get the help they need. If you are a prospective adoptive parent, you will have the child in your home for six months (at a minimum) before the adoption will go through. I also hate to burst your bubble, but your natural born child can reject the morals and values he/she was raised under, and break your heart too. It is part of the sacrifice you make when you start to actually love by thinking of the other person's well being before your own. You may have to make some tough decisions that may include the child being outside of your home, but in some situations you can continue a relationship with the child even when you are unable to provide the forever home.

(6) Excuse #6: That is easy for you to say, you do not have children

I usually get this one when I have accidentally lost control of my tongue and said any of the what I really want to say in #1-5. I usually respond to this one with all honesty by saying, "You are right. I realize that if God blesses me with children, I am going to have the temptations to make any of these excuses about why I should not get involved. I can only thank God now that He has made it clear to me that it is a command, not an option, and it is His will. I also have to pray that if I do have children, God will guard me from the temptation to use any of the excuses for not getting involved. I also pray that if I ever stray from God's will in this matter, someone will have the courage to point out to me my sin. I may not take it well, I may be offended, but I still hope someone will point it out to me."

(7) Excuse #7: I am not called to do that kind of work

Yes, you are ... by God ... in the Bible. You are called to do justice, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with God. You are called to help the widow, orphan, fatherless, poor and oppressed. There are no exceptions given that I have found. You want to know God's will for your life? It says it in the scriptures by the type of things we are commanded to do. Stop waiting for a direct call, and start following commandments. It is as simple as that ... and often the direct call comes from the obedience.

I fully recognize that there are other places in scripture that I am not fully following the commands that God has laid out. However, I hope that I will not use the excuse, "That is not my calling." There are exceptions in Scripture for titles, but not lifestyles of obedience. I know there are areas I need to work on. I pray that I can stop making excuses in those areas. I also pray that I can continue to follow God's will in the areas I do recognize are part of His commandments, not suggestions.

Safety First?

One of the problems with the current state of the church is that churches are obsessed with safety. Members are willing to say that they would die for Jesus, but they are not willing to do things that would put them in the position to do it, all in the name of safety. There are certain parts of town that we cannot go to, even to share the gospel, because it is not safe. We cannot continue to have our building in that location because the neighborhood has gone downhill and our cars might get broken into.

There is another aspect of safety that I think is damaging the church even worse. This is safety in relationships. You see, when you start to spend time with people and dare to love them, you are inevitably going to get hurt. You might be hurt by something that they do. You might be hurt by something that they go through. People in the church seem unwilling to let people in, to spend time with people, to make friendships at church a priority. Sure, we claim to be friends because we look at their posts on Facebook and sit with them on Sunday morning and maybe even eat lunch together, but it does not go much beyond that. We do not take each other seriously. Instead we have created this false church friendship that might bring meals when you have surgery or comment on your Facebook posts with godly encouragement, but is not willing to get down to the sinful level of your life. We might even shed a tear or two about what the other person is going through. However, we do not take the time to make a real difference in the person's life. This is all another attempt to keep ourselves safe.

I struggle with actually making relationships meaningful. I think that we do not really love each other, even in the church. If we loved each other, we would make each other a priority. We would not abandon the person going through a tough time. I see glimpses of persons in the church actually showing love, and I am encouraged by it. However, I also see so many looking out for number one and wanting praise for what they do instead of being willing to be a friend without praise and recognition. You are supposed to be a friend even when it is hard. Even when the other person screws up. Even when the other person makes the same mistake over and over and over. I think that the problem we have with friendship, even in the church, is trying to figure out what is in it for us when we do have the friend. We want the friend that is going to remember our birthday and give us encouragement and call us for lunch. We do not want the friend that is going to expect us to do those things and give nothing in return. However, we should continue to be the friend even when we are used and neglected and taken advantage of because we should be in the friendship for the benefit of the other person. Think about how different our churches would look if we started looking at our relationships in how we could benefit the other person instead of how that person can benefit you. Think about how much deeper our friendships would go. Sure, you would end up with people in your life that would use you then reject you once they feel that your use is up. But you would also find diamond in the rough friendships where you least expect it. I pray that I can become more of that type of friend that does not value my own safety, physically and emotionally, above love.

Haiti

If you are like me, you often want to help when you see a tragedy like the earthquake in Haiti, but you often do not know the best way to help. Since I believe that money should be sent to persons that already have relationships with the people on the ground and to places where I know it is going to be put to good use, I offer these two options for everyone to consider.

First, our office employed a legal assistant who is now a missionary to Haiti. Here is the e-mail that one of my colleagues sent out:

Dear friends,

News reports from Haiti show that there has been tremendous damage and loss of life in Haiti.

As you may know one of our former legal assistants Darlynn Hon is a missionary in Haiti working at an orphanage.

Prior to the earthquake Darlynn indicated to me that the living conditions were poor and basic food and water needs were barely being met.

One can only imagine the conditions now and I anticipate that the conditions will be poor for a long time.

We have contacted Darlynn Hon's church "Church on the Rock" in Texarkana, Texas and they stated that they are accepting donations in the name of "Church on the Rock" with a memo of "Haiti missions." They indicated to us that they intend to send support as soon as they can. If you wish to make any contributions I'm sure they will be appreciated. You can contact Church on the Rock directly at 1601 Mall Drive, Texarkana, Texas 75503.

Also, Compassion International is a wonderful organization that I currently donate to for support of two children living in poverty. Compassion has ongoing ministries in Haiti, and is accepting donations designated specifically for disaster relief. Here is the link to donate.

Countdown to 30: Day 1

Tomorrow I turn 30. Today I am still in my 20s. I am going to write today about one of my best decisions that I made in my first 30 years of life in one of the moments of extreme difficulty.

I got the phone call that Guy had been shot and killed at 5:24 p.m. on August 17, 2008. He had died approximately 30 minutes before I received the call. It is weird how you can remember dates and times like that sometimes. I also remember exactly where I was when he was shot and killed (and what I was thinking/praying about at the time) even though I did not know the shooting was occurring at that time. I remember exactly where I was at when I received the phone call - approximately 1 mile from the Turkey Creek and Meeker exit on I-49. I had just seen the exit sign when my phone rang. I basically had less than a mile to make one of the most important decisions of my life. I had to decide whether to turn around and go straight back.

I was prepared to make the decision. I do not think that I even considered continuing home at that time. I had already been through the hurricane with my kids. I had already missed one funeral. I had spent a week just being a sister to Birdie. Ironically, I had packed extra clothes to last through the weekend just in case - that was my thought as I packed them, although I did not have any clue what the "just in case" would be. There was no question that I was heading right back to New Orleans that night.

Many people have come and gone out of the lives of the kids at the Center. Everyone knows that it happens. The kids have gotten used to it. Although people promise to come back, and even make a few trips, eventually life happens and separates the kids from those whom they love. It seems inevitable. I think that the kids used to worry that I would do the same thing. Sure, I went in 2001 and 2002 and 2003 and 2004, but would I come back after the hurricane? I surprised the kids by remaining faithful to come see them. I had been away for over a year when I went in that week in April, but I also knew as I left that I could not possibly stay away that long again. When Guy's murder happened, I am sure that almost everyone would have understood if I did not turn around. I had to work the next day. It was not safe for me to go back when the boys were being targeted. It hurts too much to continue in this type of ministry. Almost everyone would have understood if I did not go back, and if I did not go to the funeral, and if I cancelled any future trips.

Galatians 6:9-10 says "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith." I heard the versions mentioned in a sermon about a week and a half after Guy's death. I realized then that those verses were the reason I turned around that day, even if I was not thinking of those verses. I believe that God has a plan for the kids that I have invested so many years building relationships with. I believe that God has a plan for the Center and for each child that goes through the Center. I believe that I was able to convince more people of my love for them by going back that night. My actions spoke louder than any other words I had spoken to them in the previous seven years to that point. Yes, most of them would have understood if I did not come back, but I would have lost something in my relationships with them. I knew that there was a brother who needed me, but would never call me to let me know. It was up to me to be there because now he knows to call me and tell me he needs me. I would not trade in that type of relationship for anything. There is another boy who is currently sitting in a jail cell. I pray that God will remind him of His love because that boy knows I love him since I came back that night. It is easy to say I love you but harder to prove it. He knows I do, and I pray that it will lead him to God's love someday.

I cannot give up on the kids in New Orleans. God promises that we will reap if we continue to do good. I think that too often, we give up too easily. We want an instant reaping, but like growing a crop, it takes time for the seeds to grow. Weeds spring up fast and die quickly, but the fruit-bearing crop takes time. I do not know what God's plan is for the boys I love. I do know that if I had made the wrong decision that day in that split second when the decision was made that I would have missed out on one of the biggest blessings of my life - sharing in the day of little guy's birth! Ironically, I received the phone call that he had been born as I was less than one mile from the Turkey Creek and Meeker exit on I-49. Plus, his daddy had learned his lesson and called me because he needed me that day so I could share in his joy. I feel like I made a huge decision that day, which is strange because it was made without thinking about the consequences one way or the other. It was made without any thought of my own safety or potential heartache or really without any thoughts of myself at all. I am sure that the decision did not make sense to a lot of people, but often God causes us to make decisions that do not make sense so that He is glorified. I believe that God was glorified more by that decision than any other choice that I have made because His love was on display for all to see - both in New Orleans and outside. I just pray that God will continue to be glorified in my love for my kids and their kids for years to come!

Countdown to 30: Day 5

From August 2007 until October 2008, it seems that my life was filled with dealing with death. I went to just a few less funerals during that time than I had been to in my whole life up to that point. However, when you are faced with death, you learn quite a bit about life.

In August 2007, my second mother died. Ms. Brenda had been my second mother from before I was born. She was a constant in my life. When it would storm when we were kids, we would head to Ms. Brenda's house. Many days were spent watching her son and my dad play video games. She was always at our birthday parties, and always "lost" our Christmas presents. When we moved to Ft. Worth, it was always her house that we returned to when we came home to Texarkana. Although she did not come to my high school graduation, she was there for college and law school graduation and watched me get my law license in Austin. She kept Texarkana people updated on my progress and kept my family informed of all of the Wake Village news.

During the summer of 2007, Ms. Brenda went to Houston to see family she had not seen in years. She went to see her daughter, which was usually reserved for Thanksgiving and Christmas. She stopped by my parents house on her way back. My mom came in the weekend of her birthday. Many of the babies that she had brought up in the nursery came in to visit that summer and saw her. She worked the church directory photo night on Monday and saw many friends. I had lunch with her on Tuesday. On Thursday I had a phone call that she had died suddenly. Even though it was tough to deal with, I immediately saw God's grace in her death. She had been able to tell many people that she cared about and did not see often goodbye. She died suddenly instead of after a long illness, and had been doing what she loved right before she died - taking care of a baby.

Ms. Brenda was a staple in the nursery at First Baptist Church Wake Village, where I was enrolled on the cradle roll. For 30+ years she was faithful to sit in her rocking chair and take care of babies. She was overjoyed to be caring for the babies of babies she had when she first started working in the nursery. For 30+ years the church did not have to worry about who would work with the babies in the nursery because there was never a question. It would be Ms. Brenda. She did not stop caring for the babies once they were no longer babies though. She always wanted to know what was going with her babies, and she was always overjoyed if one of her babies returned to Texarkana as an adult. Anyone with big news was expected to stop by the nursery and inform Ms. Brenda!

There is something really beautiful about a servant of God dying. After years of serving, Ms. Brenda entered into the rest of God. She was able to see the face of the One whose love she had been showing for so many years. Although she is missed terribly, especially in the preschool building, there is the hope of seeing her again along with many other faithful servants who have gone on to eternal rest. After seeing Jesus in the faces of many babies, she is seeing Him face to face. Because of that, there is reason to rejoice!

Countdown to 30: Day 8

I have been going to Carver Baptist Center in New Orleans for eight years, and, as anyone who has known me for any length of time or has been to my office to see the pictures everywhere (or has read this series), there is a particular relationship that has meant more to me than probably any other friendship in my life. Of course I am talking about my boy, Birdie.

The funny thing about Birdie is that I do not remember meeting him. I am not even sure that he remembers meeting me. I do know that the second spring break that our college group went to the Center in 2002, he and his cousin were locked out of the house accidentally and were asleep on one of the couches downstairs when we arrived. I do not remember that, but he does. I even have a picture or two from that trip where you can see him in the background, but I do not think that I talked to him or knew who he was at that point. When I went back that summer for the month of July, we started getting close. In fact it was nothing unusual for me to have Birdie, Malcolm and Fred with me going everywhere. Plus Birdie was responsible for watching his nephew Coy who was almost two at the time, which meant that I watched Coy while Birdie played basketball.

We really started to click in 2003. Birdie got himself into some minor trouble while on an outing with the missionary at the Center. I noticed tension between the two, so I put extra effort that week into spending time with Birdie. He went everywhere with me (except the beach - he was temporarily banned from Center activities), and I played basketball with him for hours (resulting in a purple - yes purple - sunburn that made him concerned enough to stop the game and make me go inside to cool off and down a ton of water). I literally tortured him to make him tell me what he had done to get into trouble. I think I may have locked him in a room (favorite tactic of mine with the kids) and grilled him continuously for half a day before he revealed what he had done. Instead of instantly lecturing him, I acted completely out of character and told him I was proud of him for telling me himself instead of waiting until someone else told me. The lecture came later in the form of a very long letter that I sent to him and that he actually read and remembers to this day. From that point forward, there was no way to convince either one of us that we were not brother and sister, although he still didn't like for me to hug him in front of friends.

The dislike of public hugging went out the window in 2005 with Katrina hitting. As soon as I saw him the first time after Katrina, I received one of the biggest hugs, and in front of his whole family, that I think I have ever received from Birdie. Katrina is also when his mother started claiming me as her other daughter and his siblings started calling me their white sister. I became part of the extended family during that time, and I think that quite a few members of his extended family still claim me today. Our relationship had a strange period during 2006 and 2007 because I knew he was doing things he should not be doing, but I was still loving on my little brother. Plus he was arrested, and I had to lecture him. I lectured him on the phone. I lectured him in person. I lectured him over the phone some more. He did not seem to be listening, and I was frustrated. 2007 ended up being a year when I could only make one trip to New Orleans in the spring, and I actually went over a year without seeing him. I am not sure how I ever survived that long!

In January 2008, one of Birdie's good friends was shot and killed. Fortunately Birdie was not at the scene that night, although I do not think that he sees it that way. When I found out about it, I procrastinated in calling Birdie because I did not know how to deal with things like that over the phone, and I knew I could not make it down there to see him in person to go to the funeral. On the morning of the funeral, I sent him a text message to let him know I was thinking about him (cowardly, I know!), and soon my phone was ringing. It was so good to hear his voice on the other end, but I was glad I did not contact him earlier or my butt would have been driving to New Orleans! I had no idea that I would have my chance to be there for him after the death of a friend just a few months later. All I knew as I hung up is that I loved that kid and I had to see him soon.

Soon did not come soon enough. New Orleans has this cool website where you can follow court dates of those awaiting trial, and I knew he had a trial date coming up. I knew I wanted to be there for him for his trial date, so I kept up with it. It kept getting pushed, but finally a date was set for April 15. I called his sister (because he did not return my call) to find out if it was set to go, and I found out that his family knew nothing about the date coming up. Nice. Soon he was on the phone with me telling me that I did not have to come, but I had to be there. I got in on the Monday night before his trial on Tuesday. I went to see him not long after getting in and seeing him that night I knew that I could not go a year without seeing him again. The trial date was continued (of course!), but I met his lawyer and we exchanged contact information so that the trial could be scheduled at a time I could go. I spent the rest of my time in New Orleans hanging out with him and the other kids. Birdie and I had many good conversations that week, and I was able to leave him on Thursday knowing I would see him in a month.

The call came as I was about halfway home that Thursday. Guy had been shot and killed. I had seen him about three hours before the call when I was saying bye to Birdie. Without being told, I knew Birdie had been there this time. I sent him a text to let him know I was on my way back, but I could not call him. He would not want to talk at that point anyway. I spent quite a bit of time with him the next few days, although it was not enough for me. I do not think our friendship would have been the same if I did not turn back that day. However, that is a story for another day.

I did go in for the trial. I also went in for the birth of his baby boy. I went in a few weeks before the birth of the baby so that he could have one last weekend all about him instead of the baby. I used to kid him that the baby would replace him as my boy once the baby was born, but instead it has made us closer. I love my little guy, but his daddy still has that special place in my heart! Birdie loves to watch me spoil little guy, and I love to watch him being a daddy. We have talked about the gospel many times, and I am convinced of Birdie's salvation even though he struggles with some serious sins. My friendship with Birdie has taught us both about Prov. 17:17: A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. We have been there for each other during the death of a friend and the aftermath of Katrina. He has been there for me when I almost passed out in a hospital. I have been there for him during a trial and the birth of his child. We both have loved unconditionally. It is a friendship that will continue throughout eternity, but is a little piece of heaven on earth. I love my baby brother!

More Epaphrodituses

The church needs more Epaphrodituses* in it today. Some of you may be wondering, "Who is Epaphroditus?" Read the book of Philippians and you can learn about him. In short, he was a person, apparently from Philippi, who was sent by the Philippians to minister to Paul while Paul was imprisoned in Rome. While with Paul, Epaphroditus became sick almost to the point of death, but God healed him. Paul was sending the letter to the Philippians back probably with Epaphroditus. Your next question is probably "Why do we need more Epaphrodituses in the church?"

A short term mission trip provides an opportunity for churches to be like Epaphroditus was to Paul. It is clear from Paul's writing that Paul was encouraged by Epaphroditus and the time they spent together while in Rome. Epaphroditus brought items for Paul from the church, but he also brought Christian friendship to Paul. I suspect that he also joined with Paul for the time that he was in Rome in Paul's mission to share the gospel. I imagine that the time spent with Paul and the conversation between the friends was a witness to the guards assigned to Paul. I also imagine that Epaphroditus had opportunities to go places and see people to share the gospel that Paul may not have had the opportunity to do since he was in prison. As I have thought about this, I have thought that maybe this is how the church should view short term mission opportunities.

Galatians 6:9-10 make it clear that we are to continue to do good, and especially to those in the household of faith. Part of our sharing of the gospel on a short term mission trip should be to do good in general, but to also do good to those in the household of faith. We should be an encouragement to the ministry that we are standing beside when we are conducting short term missions. I also believe that we should commit to missionaries that we know and be an encouragement to them.

As pretty much anyone who knows me already knows, I go to New Orleans ... a lot ... and to the same place. I have been going for eight years. I have seen that as my friendship with the missionaries who are there has grown, I am able to be an encouragement to them when I do go visit. That does not mean that I am not out doing work in the community or sharing the gospel. It does mean though that I am showing them that I care enough to walk with them in the ministry where they are at. I bring words of encouragement with me when I come. I listen to the struggles when I am there. I am even able to meet needs sometimes. I think that it is encouraging for the missionaries to know that they can count on someone to be there.

Not too long ago I was listening to another member at our church talk about a mission trip to India last year and her intent to travel to North Africa to see another missionary in a year or two. The mission trip to India was to participate in the ministry of a man that our pastor has known for years. Although I have not heard the man from India say it, I am sure that he would tell people that it was an encouragement to him to have the group from our church there standing beside him in the ministry. It is an encouragement to know that the group is going to go back and report to the church what they have seen and heard and what the needs are. Our church was able to meet some of those needs financially. I think that this is very similar to Epaphroditus. Although the member's trip to North Africa probably will not be labeled as a mission trip, I think that she will be bringing encouragement to the missionary who will be there at a time when it is needed. I also suspect that the reports back will better enable our church to pray or meet other needs that may come up.

Part of my point is that maybe we need to actually verbalize encouragement to the ministers in a location as a purpose of a mission trip. This does not mean that we do not want to see lives changed - instead it means that we often want to see them changed more because that would be encouraging to the ministers there. This does not mean that we do not share the gospel - it means that we share the gospel more because we know that the seed has been planted and we are praying, as is the minister, that the harvest is here. This does not mean that we choose destination mission trips just to tour a new city or add a stamp on our passport - it means that we connect with places to invest in.

* I could have just as easily said Tychicuses or Lukes or Timothys or some of the others that Paul lists by name. However, I chose Epaphroditus, in part, because the trip for him not only involved risk, but because bad things happened to him while in Rome. We are not guaranteed our safety or health while performing the good works that God has laid before us. We also should not value our safety or health above the potential to encourage and share the gospel.

Some good thoughts

I read this two part blog (part 1 and part 2) today, and I think that it is worth sharing. I pray that my church will reach out to the community that it is in, but I also realize that it will take some time. I think that this blog provides helpful hints for friendships as well as churches though, and change can start in individuals by taking these things into account. My piece of advice? Be intentional about creating diverse friendships without trying to become the culture you are trying to connect with (although it will rub off on you a little which is OK). I think that most people have a problem connecting with other cultures because of a lack of humility in dealing with other cultures, and this author makes that point very clear.

Thankful for Filters

There are some days that I wish that I could just speak my mind. I see something going on, and I wish that I could just be blunt about it. For those of you who know me, you are probably thinking, "You mean she is holding back? Scary." Of course you are probably also the ones that I feel comfortable enough to share my opinion with all of the time because I know that you won't take it the wrong way. I am known for speaking my mind, but over the past few years, I have tried to be more conscious about being careful when I speak it (or refraining from speaking it). Yet I still want to speak my mind. I think it is something that I will always struggle with, in part because I think that if I could just impart my wisdom into the situation then everything will be fixed. I have come to realize that speaking the mind is a pride issue for me. It is me making it clear that I feel like I have all of the answers or at least have looked at the symptoms long enough to know that there is a situation that needs to be fixed. Also, it is me making it evident to those around me that I have enough spiritual knowledge or awareness to know what is right or wrong. Pride is ugly, especially when it comes out when speaking truth or attempting to speak truth.

I need more filters in my speech. I am thankful for the filters that I have right now. There are some situations where speaking the truth would be hurtful or counterproductive. There are some situations where speaking the truth would be misinterpreted. There are some situations where speaking the truth is my sinful attempt to justify telling someone off (and may not be as truthful as I convince myself that it is). Finally, there are friendships where I can have filter free speech without problems, and I am thankful for those friends who stick around despite all of the sinfulness. I think that some of them are amused when I enter into filter free speech, and that is part of the benefit of being my friend. However, I really need to work on having appropriate filters all the time, which will require me to work on the inside as much as the outside. Starting with speech is a good place to start though!

Randomness

Well, it has been a while since I posted, and there is so much good stuff to blog about the last few days. This might be a long one!

1. I am tired of hearing about Michael Jackson, but I cannot help but read/watch/listen to all the reports about him. I think that shows a problem with us Americans. We cannot help but be entertained by things going bad for someone, even if we are complaining about the focus on this part or that part of someone's life. I blame this on TV and soap operas and 24-hour news and America's obsession with celebrity. I am sure there are other things to blame it on as well.

2. News is morbid. You could tell that there were prearranged obituaries, tributes, news stories, etc. on the death of everyone that died in the past few days. It seems morbid that journalism departments teach to have obituaries ready for the famous. It makes sense, but it is morbid.

3. I love going out to the farm. It is only 40 minutes from Texarkana, and is really a game ranch where, in the winter, you can pay to hunt, but in the summer, it is a nice retreat from the city. I do not love the inevitable sunburn (even though I use sunscreen ... just apparently not quick enough on Saturday) from spending time there. Baby buffaloes and wading in the Red River were highlights of the trip. Getting stuck in the sand was not a highlight, although it is cool to watch boys try to fix the situation (and be successful at getting one truck out without a tractor). It is just nice to relax and get out of town instead of laying around on a Saturday.

4. Plexiglass is a good fix for a broken window on a Sunday. Sometime Saturday or Sunday, some punk(s) decided it would be nice to throw a concrete chunk through one of my windows. I did not realize this until Sunday after church. Fortunately, two guys were coming over for the afternoon, and were kind enough to tell me what needed to be bought to fix the window and to fix it for me. I watched and made no suggestions (or maybe only one or two ... not many because I knew nothing about what was going on or should go on!). I held the wood while they did there thing once or twice without offering commentary or complaints. The end result is a plexiglass pane in the old frame for a total cost of $41 to repair (because we bought two tubes of sealant and a whole pack of finishing and siding nails even though very few were needed ... really was around $30 for the window and one tube of sealant). I am very grateful to have people around that can fix things like that for me!

5. My Pitchmen post seems kind of ironic now that Billy Mays has died. I do not think his death would have been as big a story as it was if Ed McMahon, Farrah Faucett and Michael Jackson had not died before him.

6. The sunburn from Saturday and spending all day Sunday in the heat watching my window get repaired left me dehydrated and sick. Instead of being able to take a sick day and rehydrate myself, I had to go to court yesterday. It was the sickest I have been in court to date. I was feeling horrible, but still had to put on a good front to be professional. Despite all of that, I won the hearing. Not because of any good lawyering on my part but because I was smart enough to point out enough law in my questioning for the judge to hang his hat on to keep from being overturned on appeal. It was not about the presentation yesterday as much as about knowing and demonstrating the law to the court. The worst part ... I did not get out of court until around 5:30.

7. If I do not slow down over the next two days, I am really going to be sick. I have succeeded in rehydrating (it seems), but now I just need to get over the nausea that goes along with sunburns + heat exposure.

8. I received my new custom stationery today. I am so excited about it that I wrote a random note to someone just so that I could send out one of the cards. If you receive a random card from me in the next few weeks, it is probably because I am excited about my stationery.

9. I had a random visit from a cousin I have not seen in over 10 years last week. It was nice to see her, but it added to the randomness of the week. Now that she has my phone number, maybe I will get to see her more. Anytime she comes to Texas, she has to pass through Texarkana, so why not stop in to see me!

10. Yesterday before I was rehydrated, I was boiling because of the sunburn. Today, after rehydrating, I am cold despite the heat radiating off the sunburn. I do not like my internal temperature to be out of whack!

Well there are my random thoughts/events from the past week. I even had to blog about Michael Jackson, adding to the oversaturated coverage of his death. I guess I am showing I am a true American in time for celebration of the 4th!

Why I prefer Christian hip-hop over Christian rock

As some of you readers know by now, I spent some time this week at Freedom Experience, which included a Christian hip-hop artist and a Christian rock band. I am not sure that my hearing will ever recover. I did not mind the Christian hip-hop, but I was not a fan of the Christian rock.

I believe that Christian music is most glorifying to God when it is teaching instead of entertaining. I think that music must be entertaining (to an extent) to glorify God because boring music, even if teaching, will not benefit the listener. Talent is also nice, but neither talent nor entertainment is the primary purpose.

Since teaching should be the primary purpose, I also want to point out that it should not take much to teach truth in song. However, the more truth that a song contains, the more potential you have to teach those around you the truth. I think that Christian music is important because it does teach truth to people who do not understand concepts until they sing about them. For example, many children are able to accept the reality of the Trinity as truth because of singing Holy, Holy, Holy as a child ("God in three persons, blessed Trinity"). Although it may be a concept not understood, it can be accepted as truth when it becomes part of the church conversation, even in song.

I think that both Christian hip-hop and Christian rock have the potential to teach through song. However, I think that Christian hip-hop may be a more effective medium to teaching truth through song. First, rap is a lyric driven music form with the beats taking a backseat to the words of the artist. Rappers are gifted at telling stories in a form that is catchy, quick, but packed full of truth. Second, if you listen hard enough, you can understand the rapper (usually without getting a headache). Although it is fast paced, and therefore hard for some people to catch what is said, many Christian rappers are presenting pure truth in a format that is gifted and entertaining. Third, that type of lyrical flow takes pure talent. I believe that it is a God-given talent, and I am pleased to see young men using that talent to glorify God. Fourth, many of the young men who are rappers are going to seminary or involving themselves in intense Bible study so that they can make sure that what they are presenting is true. These men are committed to biblical music and are concerned that their lyrics are true. This shows me that they understand that they can fulfill their purpose of glorifying God best by teaching through music.

I think that I have been listening to the wrong Christian rock bands, and maybe that is why I am not a huge fan of their music. First, I cannot understand them. The instruments are drowning out the lyrics (even the best secular rock bands know the importance of not allowing the instruments to drown out the lyrics!). The screaming instead of singing makes it hard to discern what is said. How can you teach if the audience cannot understand your words? Maybe I have not trained my ears to hear the words in Christian rock as well as I have in Christian rap, but honestly, the screaming gives me a headache. Second, there is a lack of depth in most songs. A song can be deep and filled with truth without many words (Just Give Me Jesus comes to mind - not Christian rock, but just an example of a simple, truth-filled song). Some songs are shallow with a lot of words (including some Christian hip-hop songs). Most Christian rock songs seem to be in the middle (number of words-wise), yet lacking in deep spiritual truths. I will confess that maybe I am missing the deep spiritual truth because I cannot understand what is being said. Third, I am sure that some do, but I do not hear Christian rock artists speaking things that indicate depth in their own spiritual lives. Part of teaching is training others to follow your example in being committed to learning more about God. I hear Christian rock artists talk a lot about experience (although the group this week did not - so this is not a complaint about their presentation), but not enough about the importance of God's word. Finally, most Christian rock artists incorporate very little of God's word into their music. The best way to convey truths about God is to include how God revealed Himself through His word.

I know that people can point to one or more of these points and say "What about ___________, they do not do this or they do that?" I think that the main point that I am trying to make is that Christians should be discerning in choosing music. Just as discernment is required when listening to teaching and preaching, it is required when listening to music. If there is something theologically incorrect in a song, we should train ourselves to catch it. We cannot allow entertainment to excuse us from the duty that all Christians have to discern. If the audience is more discerning, and encouraging musicians to teach truth over entertainment (but while remaining entertaining), then the quality of Christian music, hip-hop, rock, or otherwise, will improve to a level far above what we currently have available to listen to. I encourage believers to be active instead of passive listeners. Hold musicians accountable for what they sing. Encourage those singing truth. Finally, enjoy music because it is a gift from God.

Church Discipline

First of all, I am not sure why this is newsworthy on Fox News. The story (for those of you who might not click on it) is about a woman who is whining to the press that the church she used to attend, and that her children still attend, is about to publicly point out her sin to the church congregation. What baffles me is that she doesn't want her sin told to the whole congregation because of the embarassment that it might cause her children, but she has decided to talk to the media to make it national news on Fox News (and maybe others).

Church discipline is a sensitive matter in churches and should be left to the individual congregations. What this story does not inform the public is that it appears (at least from the church's website) that this is a conservative congregation which takes church membership very seriously. New members are required to attend a membership class before being accepted into the congregation. I am sure that this membership class informs prospective members about the discipline policies of the church since most do, especially in churches that take church membership seriously enough to have a new members class before being accepted as a member. Another thing that this article overlooks is that, although this lady may have informed those in the church that she will never attend there again, she is still a member of the church. Therefore, the church has a duty to its members, and this church believes that part of that duty is carrying out church discipline for matters addressed by Paul and Jesus. Paul makes it clear in Corinthians that those who are caught up in sexual immorality and refuse to repent should be treated as unbelievers. This combined with Jesus' instructions on how to carry out church discipline give this church a biblical basis for going through the stages of church discipline on this unrepentant member.

No one knows the full circumstances behind the church's decision to carry out discipline for this church member. A church is meant to be a place where believers are able to help each other in the struggle through sin, and the members should love each other enough to encourage someone not to continue to live in sin. Church membership should be limited to believers, and quite frankly, this woman is conducting herself as a non-believer. I am encouraged to see a church that is trying to carry out the duty of church discipline and that is loving its members enough to confront sin. This does not mean that what this church is doing is completely correct - we do live in a fallen world and most attempts by a church to fully conform to God's word will likely fall short. However, the letter written to this woman (which can be read through the news article linked above) seems to be in line with God's Word.

My prayer for this church is that God will use this situation to bless this church in the persecution that is sure to come in the next days and weeks. Somehow God is able to take persecution and turn it into triumph for His kingdom. I pray that this situation will be no different.

Although I did not read it close enough to know if I agree with everything, here is another opinion about this story.
Pyromaniacs: BREAKING NEWS: church dares to practice NT Christianity!

Commitment

This is another word I have been thinking about recently. I think that our society has an overall lack of commitment right now. We are so caught up in doing what is best for ourselves, that we do not value things like commitment.

I started thinking about commitment a few weeks ago when I committed to participate in a mentoring program at a local school. The schedule is difficult for a lawyer since there is a specific hour each month during which I am supposed to show up to mentor my child, and that date and hour cannot be changed to fit my schedule. I was warned of this when I signed up to do the program. I have had to accommodate my schedule in order to make sure that I am able to attend each month. During the first mentoring session, it was great to see all the faces of the children in the classroom light up as their mentors started showing up. You could tell that this short hour given on that day meant more than what one would expect to each child. Near where my child was sitting was a little boy. His face would light up every time an adult would walk into the room. His head would sink every time that the adult was pointed in the direction of a different child. Pretty soon his face was lighting up less and less as adults walked in, but his head was sinking lower and lower as the adult took his or her seat next to another child in the room. After about fifteen minutes, he and another boy were the only ones left without mentors. An adult walked into the room. You could see it on his face – he was sure that this adult was there for him. He even got out of his chair and began walking toward the adult talking with the teacher. Then the adult left the room. A face that was incredibly excited sank to a level where it appeared he was holding back tears. Even an offer from me for him to join me and the child I was mentoring would not appease him. Wisely, the teacher picked up on it and allowed him to go to the restroom or down to the library or out on an errand.

As I observed that little boy, I thought about the word commitment. An adult had committed to be a mentor for that little boy, yet that adult did not follow through with his or her commitment. That adult never will know how much pain that little boy went through that day as his hopes were lifted and dashed with each entry of an adult in the room, but that adult made an impact on that child that day by not following through with his or her commitment. The lack of commitment on the part of that adult probably made more of an impact on that little boy that day than the positive impact that the commitment of the mentors who did show up made on their mentees that day.

This incident made me start thinking about how there is a problem with commitment in our lives in general. I am sure that the no-show mentor had a valid reason that day for not attending. However, just because you have a valid excuse does not mean that you should break a commitment. I am sure that the no-show mentor felt that he or she was making the best choice for the mentor, but he or she will never understand that the hour spent with that little boy may have meant more than anything else that was accomplished that day. We live in a society that does not value commitment. It is easy to break commitments. I can commit to do a certain activity, but if something better comes along, it is easy to say "Something came up." I can commit to being at a certain place, but just say "I did not feel like it" once the time for the event has passed.

This lack of commitment bleeds over into other areas of life as well. Husbands and wives are not committed to each other. Divorces are easy to come by, and the words "until death do you part" really mean "until one of you does not feel like it anymore" in our society. Mothers and fathers are not committed to their families. It is easy for one (or, unfortunately, both) to leave because they do not want to be a parent right now. Friends are not committed to being the type of friend contemplated in Proverbs 18:24 – "there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." Instead, we choose to be friends with a person just so long as they make us feel good, and when that good feeling is gone (or they have the nerve to confront us about an issue in our own personality that may need changing), we drop them. Church members lack commitment, moving church membership around like it is a gym membership. The church does not have activities you like? Go to one across town that does. Someone in the church makes you mad? Go to the one across town. There is no such thing as looking for biblical reasons to end a relationship. Instead it is based upon whim. Sure we say "I prayed about it and God told me …" but how can God be the one telling you that if it is contrary to His word? Just because something is "good" in our eyes does not mean that it is the best for our lives. I have even seen how people commit to keep in touch with those they minister too, but fail to follow through with the commitment.

The other night I attended the symphony here in Texarkana, and the selection for the night was Beethoven's 9^th. There was a piccolo player that I watched almost the whole night. During the first movement, there were no notes for the piccolo. In fact, it looked like the piccolo player might be sleeping. During the second movement I got excited because it looked like he had placed his instrument near his mouth, but then I saw that it was really the bow of the violin player in front of him moving back and forth. I was sitting pretty high up. During the third movement, all of the other woodwinds were playing, and I believe that all of the other instruments had already played for a portion of the symphony. The piccolo player was still sitting there. Finally, the fourth movement came, and it did not look like there was much hope for the piccolo player to play. He was still sitting there. I became bored with watching him and started looking around. Suddenly, I heard a sound I had not heard all night. It was the piccolo. He was finally getting to play his notes. His notes made a difference to the symphony too. He did not play long, but his notes were meaningful.

The piccolo player could have determined that there was no reason for him to commit to the symphony that night. He was not going to be recognized individually for his playing of the notes. He was going to have to sit in an uncomfortable chair in front of hot lights in front of a crowd of people for at least an hour before he got to play his instrument. He could have even made a grand entrance by waiting until it was time for him to play his notes and enter the stage to take his seat making sure everyone knew he was playing. Instead, the piccolo player knew that he had committed to be a part of the symphony, and, for the good of the whole, he took his seat as he had said he would, and played his instrument when it was time. All of these steps probably would have been better for him individually.

I am learning a lesson in commitment right now. I have made various commitments in the past few years. It has been tough following through with some of the commitments, and I have broken others. I have committed to being a member of First Baptist Church Wake Village, and that is a commitment that I intend to keep so long as it is biblical to keep it. I have committed to supporting children through Compassion International, and that is a commitment I intend to keep. I have committed to being a mentor this year at the elementary school, and that is a commitment I intend to keep. I also have committed to treating one of my boys in New Orleans like a brother, and through the past few years (and especially this last year) I have had plenty of opportunities to follow through with that commitment even when it was hard to do so. Right now the busyness in my life is making it harder and harder to keep commitments. I need to learn in the midst of all of these things to keep from committing to anything that I cannot remain committed to. It is better to tell someone or something no than to fail to keep the commitment.

Response to Complaints about Evacuees

I received this in my e-mail today, and I thought that I would provide a response but more from the Christian perspective than a secular prospective. Again, as I stated yesterday, I am not going to join the debate about whether FEMA payments are valid or any social issue like that. Instead, I am choosing to make a public response to her letter (since the letter was in the newspaper in Shreveport apparently). I would not do this except that the end of her letter appears to imply that she is a Christian.

First, here is the letter:

Dear Editor,

I am a nurse who has just completed volunteer working approximately 120 hours as the clinic director in a Hurricane Gustav evacuation shelter in Shreveport, Louisiana over the last 7 days. I would love to see someone look at the evacuee situation from a new perspective. Local and national news channels have covered the evacuation and "horrible" conditions the evacuees had to endure during Hurricane Gustav. True - some things were not optimal for the evacuation and the shelters need some modification.

At any point, does anyone address the responsibility (or irresponsibility) of the evacuees?
Does it seem wrong that one would remember their cell phone, charger, cigarettes and lighter but forget their child's insulin?
Is something amiss when an evacuee gets off the bus, walks immediately to the medical area, and requests immediate free refills on all medicines for which they cannot provide a prescription or current bottle (most of which are narcotics)?
Isn't the system flawed when an evacuee says they cannot afford a $3 copay for a refill that will be delivered to them in the shelter yet they can take a city-provided bus to Wal-mart, buy 5 bottles of Vodka, and return to consume them secretly in the shelter?
Is it fair to stop performing luggage checks on incoming evacuees so as not to delay the registration process but endanger the volunteer staff and other persons with the very realistic truth of drugs, alcohol and weapons being brought into the shelter?
Am I less than compassionate when it frustrates me to scrub emesis from the floor near a nauseated child while his mother lies nearby, watching me work 26 hours straight, not even raising her head from the pillow to comfort her own son?
Why does it insense [sic] me to hear a man say "I ain't goin' home 'til I get my FEMA check" when I would love to just go home and see my daughters who I have only seen 3 times this week?
Is the system flawed when the privately insured patient must find a way to get to the pharmacy, fill his prescription and pay his copay while the FEMA declaration allows the uninsured person to acquire free medications under the disaster rules?
Does it seem odd that the nurse volunteering at the shelter is paying for childcare while the evacuee sits on a cot during the day as the shelter provides a "daycare"?
Have government entitlements created this mentality and am I facilitating it with my work?
Will I be a bad person, merciless nurse or poor Christian if I hesitate to work at the next shelter because I have worked for 7 days being called every curse word imaginable, feeling threatened and fearing for my personal safety in the shelter?

Exhausted and battered,

Sherri Hagerhjelm, RN

My response:

Dear Sherri,

In your letter, you seem to indicate that you are a Christian and therefore, I am writing this response. There are many people that have voiced some of your same opinions. Therefore, since you published your "new perspective" in a newspaper, I am choosing to respond on my blog. Specifically, I am responding to the last sentence of your letter wherein you asked if it would make you a poor Christian if you hesitate to work in the next shelter. I do not know what you mean by "poor Christian," but I am of the opinion that if God has gifted you with medical capabilities, and there is a medical need, you would at least be a disobedient Christian if you fail to provide your services the next time that it is necessary. There are several reasons for me stating this.

Number 1: You spend a lot of time in your letter focusing on the individuals instead of viewing the individuals in a biblical way. Jesus indicates that we are to treat those that we minister to as if we are ministering to Him (Matthew 25, and more specifically verses 31-46). If Jesus asked for medication, we would give it to Him no questions asked, including the question about whether or not He can afford it. I do think there is a level of discernment you have to exercise though because you do not want to provide medication to an addict, but that is not the point of that statement. If Jesus asked for shelter, we would open our arms wide instead of questioning His motives. Stop looking at these people as people with an entitlement mentality and start looking at them through gospel eyes. Yes, they may have an entitlement mentality or be lazy or be unappreciative, but that is why our servant attitude and heart will be a witness to them. Be a suffering servant doing all of this for the glory of God instead of for the people that you are helping.

Number 2: You talk about being exhausted and drained. Again, I speak for most everyone that worked in shelters (including myself) when I say that you are not alone. However, there is a verse in the Bible that speaks directly to this issue. You will find it in Galatians 6:9-10, written by perhaps one of the most abused, exhausted, battered, and person in danger that ever set out to live and preach the gospel. "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith." Galatians 6:9-10. Preach to yourself in those times that you are feeling incensed, less compassionate, exhausted, discouraged by reminding yourself of those verses. The verses do not say to do good to only those who are of the household of faith or only those who deserve it or only those that are grateful, but to everyone. I know that I had to during the midst of serving in the shelters during Gustav and Ike. It is when you stop preaching to yourself that you fall victim to looking at these people individually, full of faults, instead of looking at them through gospel eyes, as referenced in number 1 above. I had to constantly remind myself not to grow weary in doing good. I had to constantly remind myself to view the people I was serving as Jesus or at least as someone who needs to hear the gospel through my actions and attitude. I had to constantly remind myself to smile so that the evacuees could see the joy that only God gives. I had to constantly remind myself that these people are people who are at the shelter because they do not know if they are going to have a home when they leave the shelter. Yes, they may have chosen the shelter route because of the free food, free medication, free trip out of town, but the evacuees still may be returning home to nothing. That kind of stress causes some people to be unable to provide care to their children. I have seen it with my own eyes with someone I now consider a close friend. I had to help care for her child because at that time in that type of stress she was unable to. I had to realize I had no right to complain because God had placed me in that position to be able to minister in that way. Was it frustrating at times? I would be a liar if I told you know. That is why it was necessary to preach to myself. This is a habit that all Christians should incorporate into their lives. I often fail in my attitude towards the evacuees, but by God's grace, there are moments that I am able to be an example of the gospel as well.

Number 3: Your concern for safety seems to hinder your willingness to share the gospel. One of the problems in the church today is that people are too concerned for safety. I should probably limit that to the American church since there are other churches around the world who are answering the call to sacrifice safety for the spread of the gospel every day, and are gladly giving their lives for Christ. Many in the church, myself included, are too afraid to put our safety on the line for the spread of the gospel. Start trusting God and His will for your safety instead of fearing what may happen. Should you die in this type of situation, your death may result in great things for God's Kingdom. Be willing to have Paul's attitude that to live is Christ and to die is gain. Realize that God may have called you to a situation where your safety was in jeopardy to get you out of your comfort zone and to show His provision in such times. Safety is not a valid concern when turning down opportunities to serve.

Number 4: Your "new perspective" lacks all everything that a Christian should be showing the world. The glory of God is proclaimed when the world sees that we Christians are willing to serve and sacrifice even when God calls us to serve and sacrifice to those in society that may not deserve it. Isn't that what the gospel is all about? Showing grace to the world because God showed grace to us when we did not deserve it? There is a church in my town that had their facilities damaged by the evacuees from Gustav, had situations go on during Gustav that would have justified their decision to no longer be a shelter, yet they opened their doors to evacuees in Ike. There is another church in my town that made the decision not to be a shelter, despite significant financial and people resources, not to mention adequate facilities to house evacuees. Which church is portraying the glory of God to the community and to the world? Isn't it the church that makes decisions that do not make sense? Be the example that the church who opened its doors even when it would have been justified in closing them instead of the example of making a decision that makes sense to the world. You may be justified in not volunteering in the future, but choose to be the type of person who is asked why you are willing to serve again so that you can explain the gospel to someone who needs to hear it.

This response is not meant to address what is wrong with FEMA or whether FEMA needs to change. Right now, FEMA and its regulations are as good as law (if they are not law already), so complaining about FEMA is not the way to change things. Instead, it is better for the time being to follow the law, and do it with a smile and attitude that comes only from Christ. Personally, I am glad that persons who were on medication for bi-polar depression in the shelter at our church could receive their prescription for free due to the FEMA rules because I am sure that we would have had our hands full if the prescriptions were not readily available. I am grateful for the presence of the guard even if I may think that it is sad that the guard is necessary. I am also grateful that God allowed me to participate in a ministry that is hard for me and requires me to rely so much on Him and His provision. I also pray that anything that I did in my service may be used by God to change hearts and lives, realizing that He is the only one who can provide that change.

I am sure that this response may seem harsh to you at this time. However, I pray that God will allow it to be a teaching situation in spite of the sin it may contain.

Exhausted, but praising God for the privilege of service,

Cyndia Hammond

Compassion International

I made the decision in July to begin sponsoring a Compassion International child.  I had heard about the organization in college, and I have wanted to sponsor a child since then.  Finally, this summer, I realized I was in a financial position to begin sponsoring a child.  You can go to their website and choose your child by looking through pictures of children from all over the world.  I really wanted a little boy in Africa, but I also wanted a child that was under five years old so that I would be making a long term commitment to the child until the child is eighteen.  After looking through all of the children, I realized that there was not a little boy in Africa that was under the age of five awaiting sponsorship.  I narrowed my choice to two little boys, a three year old from India and a four year old from Haiti.  After praying about the choice I should make, I decided to sponsor the three year old (although I was really sad that I couldn't sponsor the little boy from Haiti as well).

My little boy is Arjun Ajith.  He is from South India.  He is the cutest little thing!  I have placed his picture in my office so that I see him while I am working and remember to pray for him.  I was so excited to receive a letter written by his mother that also contained pictures drawn by him.  I learned that he has a dog too, so when I sent him a picture of me, I included one of Lil T as well.  His drawings of a flower and a bus were precious.  I am excited that I have the opportunity to support him financially.  Since he is a Compassion child, in order to continue to receive the benefits of the sponsorship, he will be attending school at a religious center in or near his hometown.  Therefore, because of my financial contributions, he will be raised learning about the gospel throughout his childhood and teenage years.  I hope that one day I will receive a letter with him informing me that he has become a believer in Christ.

I would encourage everyone to sponsor a child through Compassion.  It is a trustworthy organization, as is evidenced by its many years of service and many success stories.  As for the Haitian boy that I was unable to sponsor, I found out a week or two later that he had been chosen by our youth pastor as the child the youth group would sponsor.  I have been able to contribute to his sponsorship as well, which makes me excited.  If you are unable to afford a sponsorship on your own, I would encourage you to sponsor a child through a group of people, such as a Sunday school class, a discipleship class, a group of friends or co-workers, you get the picture.  If you can't make a long term commitment, choose an older child.  I think this is a small way that individuals can impact the world in a very personal way.  My desire is for Arjun's entire family to be changed by the gospel, and I hope that the love of Christ is shown through each dollar that they receive.

(I do have to add that you should not sponsor a child unless you are already tithing in your local church body.  Support for your local church should come first.)

Pictures

The last few days I have been looking through various pictures, none of which were my own (although I was in some).  Have you ever thought about how odd it is to look at someone else's pictures?  Of course, it is one way that we can keep up with what is going on in other's lives when looking at Facebook and My Space pictures.  So many of those pictures have commentary to go along with them.  What I have found strange is looking through years and years worth of pictures.  One set was a friend's pictures, and another set was a stranger's pictures.

In the friend's pictures, it is strange to see pictures of people you know and even yourself, but not know the story behind them.  I saw pictures of myself as a little girl, and it looked like we were having a blast, but I can't remember the story that goes with it.  I don't remember wearing those clothes, having those friends, doing those things.  I saw pictures of people I knew, and you wonder what the story is behind the picture.  You can see the family grow over the years, yet the love remains the same.

In the stranger's pictures, you really feel like you are invading the family's privacy.  Part of my job is to personalize a client, and when the person has died, one of the ways to do that is to use pictures.  It is odd to watch a person growing up that you never met.  It really seemed like I, as a stranger, was eavesdropping on the family with things that weren't meant to be seen.  None of the pictures were inappropriate or anything like that.  It was just that you almost feel like you should know someone before looking through their pictures.  You can tell that there is a story behind each and every one, and you can see a family's love through the years.  I also found myself dreading each passing year because I knew that she would die young in her early 20s.  That last Christmas was sad to see in pictures because they did not know that it would be the last.  I mean, with an illness, you have a chance to prepare, but with a sudden death you just don't know.  There are happy pictures, then the life is no more.  The next picture you see is of a tombstone.  It was kind of a depressing feeling.

There really isn't anything profound that I am trying to say.  I am sure that if I talked to the stranger's family, they would have something special to say about each picture.  I know that the friend did.  Plus, I was a pretty cute little kid (except the picture where I look like my brother ... that one was scary.).

It's Just a Song?

Yesterday during a discussion in Sunday School about a particular song played on Christian radio, I heard words that made me wonder at what contemporary Christian music is teaching us. Now granted, I was probably wrong in the way that I pointed out my dislike of the song because of its lack of theological correctness (with a sneer and a twinge of spiritual arrogance unfortunately ... that is what happens when truth is spoken outside of love, but that is the subject of another blog for another day). However, the words that were spoken next by someone who was well meaning have been playing over and over in my head since the moment they were spoken -- "It's just a song."

Those of you reading this are probably thinking the same thing. However, all of you know that songs get stuck in our heads (and hearts). I mean, if I were to ask you what your favorite song is, you could probably sing it word for word, and just the mention of the song causes it to be stuck in your head for hours (or days). I know that during my quiet time I will often read Scripture that will make me think of a song or hymn or psalm that will then be on my mind and heart for the next few days. Just yesterday I made those riding in my car with me to lunch listen to "In Christ Alone" no less than six times because it went so beautifully with the sermon that Jared preached on Galations 3:15-26. Songs are an important part of our spiritual walk. They express our feelings of love and gratitude to God through the gift of music that He has given us.

In Ephesians 5:19-20, we are told of the importance of corporate worship. As a church, we are to speak to each other through songs, hymns, and psalms. Does that mean that we walk around looking like a musical with only songs coming out of our mouths? I hope not because there are some voices (and mine is included in this category) that only sound pretty to God and can only be classified as a joyful noise! Instead, I think that the verses mean that we should take the opportunity in corporate worship to speak to each other through the songs that are chosen. This means that we should preach to each other through song and exhort each other through song. I know that I have a hard time singing so many of the songs that are focused on myself. I think that as a church, we should sing things like "Open the eyes of our heart Lord" instead of "Open the eyes of my heart, Lord" because that takes the focus off of self and places it on the purpose of the church. We should sing songs focused on God, who He is, and what He has done for us. I think that we should carefully examine a song to see its purpose before singing a song that has I, me, my, etc. in it.

My views of music also lead me to like hymns in corporate worship more than choruses (with the exception of the chorus that are directly from the Psalms or Revelations -- a little heavenly choir practice is fine with me!). Many of you are probably inclined to make fun of me right now (because I have heard you make fun of people, especially those in the younger generation, who like hymns), but I think that those who make fun are probably not really reading the words on the screen or in the book so that the truths can be branded in their minds and hearts. I know that as a child, one of my favorite hymns was Holy, Holy, Holy. As a child, I learned important truths about God by singing this song -- the concept of the Trinity, the eternality of God, the fact that we must worship God for who He is, etc. Therefore, I think that it is important to remember that we can teach those sitting in the congregation doctrine and theology through our songs. A song I mentioned before, In Christ Alone, teaches so much about the work of Christ.

Some of you that know me well (and know some of the songs mentioned) are probably thinking, but isn't one of your favorites also It is Well with My Soul and doesn't In Christ Alone start out "In Christ alone my hope is found"? Like I said earlier, we should examine the songs that contain these words. Here is what I think. These songs enable us to exhort others in the congregation when we are able to sing them out to God. When we go through trials, we need to me reminded of the personal testimony of others who have gone before us and were able to say "When peace like a river attendeth my way." We need to proclaim to a lost world (some of whom are sitting in our church services) that Christ is our personal hope.

Some of you also might be saying that David is very personal in some of the Psalms, and if those were made into songs, it probably would go against what I am saying right now. I think that type of music has a place in my personal time alone with God. I think that there are songs that can help me voice prayers to God when I have a hard time putting words to what I am feeling. I think that it is perfectly fine for me, in a time of personal worship before God, to sing out for Him to open my eyes.

Having given my view of songs and their proper place, I am finally going to reach my main point. Songs that are not theologically or doctrinally sound have no place in the church or in our personal lives. We should be Berean about the songs we sing, not just the material that we teach and use in Bible study. We must remember that there are children and unbelievers in our congregations that do not need to be deceived by the music we are singing. There are children and unbelievers that do not need to be deceived by the music we play on the radio. Our own hearts need to be guarded against false teaching and unsound doctrine. Too many in the church choose their music based upon how easy it is to learn, the type of beat it has, whether it is peppy enough for them, etc. instead of basing their opinion of music on the words contained in the song. I don't know how many times I have heard that someone liked the special music at church (although usually the singer does a good job of singing the material), but it stirs up uncomfort in my heart because the words are not sound. I know that many people would tell me to lighten up a little, "It's just a song," but that is not how we should look at music that we are singing while worshiping God. Our goal is not to play on the emotions of those listening. Our goal should be to sing praises to our Heavenly Father, to exalt His name as He prepares our hearts to hear His truth. This cannot be done by playing on the congregation's emotions (although emotions may be involved because we are emotional creatures) or on the musical likes of those in the congregation, but by singing songs that are meant to teach and to exhort during the time of worship for the glory of God.

I encourage those that have an opportunity to pick songs for corporate worship to really think the songs through before the songs are sung. Also, for those of us sitting in the congregation that have a hard time singing some of the songs, change the words a bit to enable yourself to worship God. I know those around me probably look at me funny when I sing "Open the eyes of our heart," but that is what enables me to focus on our purpose as a church and to glorify God in my singing praises to Him. So the next time you are sitting near me and hear me change the words, I promise I can read what is on the screen!

When Should We Defend Ourselves?

I have been thinking about times when we should defend ourselves when something wrong happens to us. It seems like we can all point to something that happens to us each day where we have been wronged personally. Sometimes it is intentional. Sometimes the person does not even realize that they are acting wrong. Sometimes I am the one in the wrong because I jump to assumptions. People do things acting selfishly, or spread lies because they do not know the truth, or just act mean for no good reason. So should we defend ourselves or just let things happen?

This is a hard question to answer, and I am still working out when I feel that I can defend myself. My automatic impulse is to fire off some words (usually resulting in a big fight) or to sit and sulk (which only hurts me worse). Neither of those solutions seems to be satisfying. One thing that I have noticed recently is that, when it comes to personality differences or times when people lie about what I say, it is better to sit back, let it happen, and only correct when confronted by someone who was lied to. Why do I find more satisfaction in this? I think that it is probably because I am forced to be patient. If I go to the person lying (even if I can prove I am right), it doesn't matter because that person already knows that they are lying. If I wait until I am confronted, I can correct those who were lied to because they are the ones wanting to hear the truth anyway. You would be surprised how much this happens when you are a boss and have those working under you! People want to play the blame game instead of owning up when they do something wrong. When I say people, I should probably put the word "I" in there as well. However, I am gradually learning that it is better when you own up when you make a mistake instead of blaming others. You do not have to compromise your honesty or integrity that way, and ultimately, those around you eventually have a higher view of you.

After chasing a bit of a rabbit trail (I am good at that), I have come to this conclusion. If someone is attacking Christ, I have the right and the duty to contend for the faith and come to Christ's defense if the Holy Spirit leads me to do so. It is when I am being attacked for the sake of Christ that I can defend not myself, but Christ. Other than that, I really don't think that I have much of a right to defend myself. I know this sounds odd, especially coming from someone who likes to defend her actions and decisions all the time, but I am realizing that when we defend ourself, it is usually (for me anyway) a matter of pride. I am allowed to speak the truth when confronted, but I do not think that I should go out and proclaim the truth just to make myself look better. Unfortunately, I have been choosing the latter here recently, which has resulted in a lack of humility on my part (which I already struggle with anyway). I need to remember that the judgments (as well as the praises) of men mean nothing since God is the one ultimately judging the heart. I think this attitude also makes forgiveness easier (something else I struggle with) and helps the will love.

I am still thinking all of this through, so please, if you have any comments or thoughts, let me know. This is such a difficult thing to think through.

Forgiveness

Last night a group of us had an interesting conversation about forgiveness. The main thing being discussed is whether someone can truly be forgiven, or if I can truly forgive someone, without that person repenting of the wrong done to me. Some felt that forgiveness is all within. Others felt that the statement was true. I tend to agree with the statement that full forgiveness happens when the party wronged has a forgiving heart and the party doing the wrong has a repentant heart. Only then can the parties experience true reconciliation that is a product of true forgiveness.

First, for God to forgive us fully, we must repent of our sins. All of us came to that conclusion. God's forgiveness and man's repentance leads to reconciliation wherein we experience a relationship with God.

Since we are to forgive as our Heavenly Father forgives, the same must be true for us as well. It is impossible for us to experience true forgiveness unless the one wrong has a heart of forgiveness and the one doing the wrong repents of the wrong done.

Now before some of you think that you are let off the hook because the person who wronged you isn't repenting (which I have to say is one of my first reactions), you as the person wronged must have a heart of forgiveness. In some situations, this takes time (and lots of it!) because the nature of the wrong cuts so deep. It takes a tremendous amount of dependence upon the Holy Spirit to change the heart. A heart of forgiveness is a much better heart than a heart of bitterness. I have often thought that I have "fully" forgiven someone, only to have the same feelings resurface the next time that I see them, most often because of their unrepentant heart. I think back on my broken relationships, and oftentimes, I have forgiven that person, but it is really just a heart of forgiveness because there is a lack of repentance.

In Matthew 18, you have the following teaching by Jesus:
21Then Peter came and said to Him, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?"
22Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.
23"For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves.
24"When he had begun to settle them, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him.
25"But since he did not have the means to repay, his lord commanded him to be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment to be made.
26"So the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying, 'Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.'
27"And the lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt.
28"But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and he seized him and began to choke him, saying, 'Pay back what you owe.'
29"So his fellow slave fell to the ground and began to plead with him, saying, 'Have patience with me and I will repay you.'
30"But he was unwilling and went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed.
31"So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their lord all that had happened.
32"Then summoning him, his lord said to him, 'You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.
33'Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way that I had mercy on you?'
34"And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him.
35"My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart."

God forgives us fully and for debts that we can never repay. We are to do likewise to those who come before us with a repentant attitude and heart. Being able to do this results when we nurture a heart of forgiveness so that when those who have wronged us come before us, we are able to forgive. Remember that forgiveness is a process. Part of the fruit of our salvation should be a heart willing to forgive since it is filled with God's love.

Just some thoughts as a continuation of conversation.