When Should We Defend Ourselves?

I have been thinking about times when we should defend ourselves when something wrong happens to us. It seems like we can all point to something that happens to us each day where we have been wronged personally. Sometimes it is intentional. Sometimes the person does not even realize that they are acting wrong. Sometimes I am the one in the wrong because I jump to assumptions. People do things acting selfishly, or spread lies because they do not know the truth, or just act mean for no good reason. So should we defend ourselves or just let things happen?

This is a hard question to answer, and I am still working out when I feel that I can defend myself. My automatic impulse is to fire off some words (usually resulting in a big fight) or to sit and sulk (which only hurts me worse). Neither of those solutions seems to be satisfying. One thing that I have noticed recently is that, when it comes to personality differences or times when people lie about what I say, it is better to sit back, let it happen, and only correct when confronted by someone who was lied to. Why do I find more satisfaction in this? I think that it is probably because I am forced to be patient. If I go to the person lying (even if I can prove I am right), it doesn't matter because that person already knows that they are lying. If I wait until I am confronted, I can correct those who were lied to because they are the ones wanting to hear the truth anyway. You would be surprised how much this happens when you are a boss and have those working under you! People want to play the blame game instead of owning up when they do something wrong. When I say people, I should probably put the word "I" in there as well. However, I am gradually learning that it is better when you own up when you make a mistake instead of blaming others. You do not have to compromise your honesty or integrity that way, and ultimately, those around you eventually have a higher view of you.

After chasing a bit of a rabbit trail (I am good at that), I have come to this conclusion. If someone is attacking Christ, I have the right and the duty to contend for the faith and come to Christ's defense if the Holy Spirit leads me to do so. It is when I am being attacked for the sake of Christ that I can defend not myself, but Christ. Other than that, I really don't think that I have much of a right to defend myself. I know this sounds odd, especially coming from someone who likes to defend her actions and decisions all the time, but I am realizing that when we defend ourself, it is usually (for me anyway) a matter of pride. I am allowed to speak the truth when confronted, but I do not think that I should go out and proclaim the truth just to make myself look better. Unfortunately, I have been choosing the latter here recently, which has resulted in a lack of humility on my part (which I already struggle with anyway). I need to remember that the judgments (as well as the praises) of men mean nothing since God is the one ultimately judging the heart. I think this attitude also makes forgiveness easier (something else I struggle with) and helps the will love.

I am still thinking all of this through, so please, if you have any comments or thoughts, let me know. This is such a difficult thing to think through.