Commitment

This is another word I have been thinking about recently. I think that our society has an overall lack of commitment right now. We are so caught up in doing what is best for ourselves, that we do not value things like commitment.

I started thinking about commitment a few weeks ago when I committed to participate in a mentoring program at a local school. The schedule is difficult for a lawyer since there is a specific hour each month during which I am supposed to show up to mentor my child, and that date and hour cannot be changed to fit my schedule. I was warned of this when I signed up to do the program. I have had to accommodate my schedule in order to make sure that I am able to attend each month. During the first mentoring session, it was great to see all the faces of the children in the classroom light up as their mentors started showing up. You could tell that this short hour given on that day meant more than what one would expect to each child. Near where my child was sitting was a little boy. His face would light up every time an adult would walk into the room. His head would sink every time that the adult was pointed in the direction of a different child. Pretty soon his face was lighting up less and less as adults walked in, but his head was sinking lower and lower as the adult took his or her seat next to another child in the room. After about fifteen minutes, he and another boy were the only ones left without mentors. An adult walked into the room. You could see it on his face – he was sure that this adult was there for him. He even got out of his chair and began walking toward the adult talking with the teacher. Then the adult left the room. A face that was incredibly excited sank to a level where it appeared he was holding back tears. Even an offer from me for him to join me and the child I was mentoring would not appease him. Wisely, the teacher picked up on it and allowed him to go to the restroom or down to the library or out on an errand.

As I observed that little boy, I thought about the word commitment. An adult had committed to be a mentor for that little boy, yet that adult did not follow through with his or her commitment. That adult never will know how much pain that little boy went through that day as his hopes were lifted and dashed with each entry of an adult in the room, but that adult made an impact on that child that day by not following through with his or her commitment. The lack of commitment on the part of that adult probably made more of an impact on that little boy that day than the positive impact that the commitment of the mentors who did show up made on their mentees that day.

This incident made me start thinking about how there is a problem with commitment in our lives in general. I am sure that the no-show mentor had a valid reason that day for not attending. However, just because you have a valid excuse does not mean that you should break a commitment. I am sure that the no-show mentor felt that he or she was making the best choice for the mentor, but he or she will never understand that the hour spent with that little boy may have meant more than anything else that was accomplished that day. We live in a society that does not value commitment. It is easy to break commitments. I can commit to do a certain activity, but if something better comes along, it is easy to say "Something came up." I can commit to being at a certain place, but just say "I did not feel like it" once the time for the event has passed.

This lack of commitment bleeds over into other areas of life as well. Husbands and wives are not committed to each other. Divorces are easy to come by, and the words "until death do you part" really mean "until one of you does not feel like it anymore" in our society. Mothers and fathers are not committed to their families. It is easy for one (or, unfortunately, both) to leave because they do not want to be a parent right now. Friends are not committed to being the type of friend contemplated in Proverbs 18:24 – "there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." Instead, we choose to be friends with a person just so long as they make us feel good, and when that good feeling is gone (or they have the nerve to confront us about an issue in our own personality that may need changing), we drop them. Church members lack commitment, moving church membership around like it is a gym membership. The church does not have activities you like? Go to one across town that does. Someone in the church makes you mad? Go to the one across town. There is no such thing as looking for biblical reasons to end a relationship. Instead it is based upon whim. Sure we say "I prayed about it and God told me …" but how can God be the one telling you that if it is contrary to His word? Just because something is "good" in our eyes does not mean that it is the best for our lives. I have even seen how people commit to keep in touch with those they minister too, but fail to follow through with the commitment.

The other night I attended the symphony here in Texarkana, and the selection for the night was Beethoven's 9^th. There was a piccolo player that I watched almost the whole night. During the first movement, there were no notes for the piccolo. In fact, it looked like the piccolo player might be sleeping. During the second movement I got excited because it looked like he had placed his instrument near his mouth, but then I saw that it was really the bow of the violin player in front of him moving back and forth. I was sitting pretty high up. During the third movement, all of the other woodwinds were playing, and I believe that all of the other instruments had already played for a portion of the symphony. The piccolo player was still sitting there. Finally, the fourth movement came, and it did not look like there was much hope for the piccolo player to play. He was still sitting there. I became bored with watching him and started looking around. Suddenly, I heard a sound I had not heard all night. It was the piccolo. He was finally getting to play his notes. His notes made a difference to the symphony too. He did not play long, but his notes were meaningful.

The piccolo player could have determined that there was no reason for him to commit to the symphony that night. He was not going to be recognized individually for his playing of the notes. He was going to have to sit in an uncomfortable chair in front of hot lights in front of a crowd of people for at least an hour before he got to play his instrument. He could have even made a grand entrance by waiting until it was time for him to play his notes and enter the stage to take his seat making sure everyone knew he was playing. Instead, the piccolo player knew that he had committed to be a part of the symphony, and, for the good of the whole, he took his seat as he had said he would, and played his instrument when it was time. All of these steps probably would have been better for him individually.

I am learning a lesson in commitment right now. I have made various commitments in the past few years. It has been tough following through with some of the commitments, and I have broken others. I have committed to being a member of First Baptist Church Wake Village, and that is a commitment that I intend to keep so long as it is biblical to keep it. I have committed to supporting children through Compassion International, and that is a commitment I intend to keep. I have committed to being a mentor this year at the elementary school, and that is a commitment I intend to keep. I also have committed to treating one of my boys in New Orleans like a brother, and through the past few years (and especially this last year) I have had plenty of opportunities to follow through with that commitment even when it was hard to do so. Right now the busyness in my life is making it harder and harder to keep commitments. I need to learn in the midst of all of these things to keep from committing to anything that I cannot remain committed to. It is better to tell someone or something no than to fail to keep the commitment.