Last night a group of us had an interesting conversation about forgiveness. The main thing being discussed is whether someone can truly be forgiven, or if I can truly forgive someone, without that person repenting of the wrong done to me. Some felt that forgiveness is all within. Others felt that the statement was true. I tend to agree with the statement that full forgiveness happens when the party wronged has a forgiving heart and the party doing the wrong has a repentant heart. Only then can the parties experience true reconciliation that is a product of true forgiveness.
First, for God to forgive us fully, we must repent of our sins. All of us came to that conclusion. God's forgiveness and man's repentance leads to reconciliation wherein we experience a relationship with God.
Since we are to forgive as our Heavenly Father forgives, the same must be true for us as well. It is impossible for us to experience true forgiveness unless the one wrong has a heart of forgiveness and the one doing the wrong repents of the wrong done.
Now before some of you think that you are let off the hook because the person who wronged you isn't repenting (which I have to say is one of my first reactions), you as the person wronged must have a heart of forgiveness. In some situations, this takes time (and lots of it!) because the nature of the wrong cuts so deep. It takes a tremendous amount of dependence upon the Holy Spirit to change the heart. A heart of forgiveness is a much better heart than a heart of bitterness. I have often thought that I have "fully" forgiven someone, only to have the same feelings resurface the next time that I see them, most often because of their unrepentant heart. I think back on my broken relationships, and oftentimes, I have forgiven that person, but it is really just a heart of forgiveness because there is a lack of repentance.
In Matthew 18, you have the following teaching by Jesus:
21Then Peter came and said to Him, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?"
22Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.
23"For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves.
24"When he had begun to settle them, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him.
25"But since he did not have the means to repay, his lord commanded him to be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment to be made.
26"So the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying, 'Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.'
27"And the lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt.
28"But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and he seized him and began to choke him, saying, 'Pay back what you owe.'
29"So his fellow slave fell to the ground and began to plead with him, saying, 'Have patience with me and I will repay you.'
30"But he was unwilling and went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed.
31"So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their lord all that had happened.
32"Then summoning him, his lord said to him, 'You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.
33'Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way that I had mercy on you?'
34"And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him.
35"My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart."
God forgives us fully and for debts that we can never repay. We are to do likewise to those who come before us with a repentant attitude and heart. Being able to do this results when we nurture a heart of forgiveness so that when those who have wronged us come before us, we are able to forgive. Remember that forgiveness is a process. Part of the fruit of our salvation should be a heart willing to forgive since it is filled with God's love.
Just some thoughts as a continuation of conversation.
Like my blog ...
About Me
Bible Search
Verse:
John 3:16; Jn 3:16; John 3
Keyword:
Salvation, Jesus, Gospel
With Operators:
AND, OR, NOT, “ ”
Favorite Movies
Recommended Books
The Gospel According to Jesus by John MacArthur
God's Pursuit of Man by A.W. Tozer
The Doctrines of Grace by James Montgomery Boice and Phillip Ryken
Whatever Happened to The Gospel of Grace? by James Montgomery Boice
Foundations of Grace by Steven Lawson
The Doctrine of God (A Theology of Lordship) by John Frame
Real Worship by Warren Wiersbe
SYSTEMATIC THEOLOGY: An Introduction to Biblical Doctrine by Wayne Grudem
2 comments:
I just learned of your blog from your facebook site.
I have one main thought on this post on forgiveness that might be of importance. Below is a quote from your post:
"First, for God to forgive us fully, we must repent of our sins. All of us came to that conclusion. God's forgiveness and man's repentance leads to reconciliation wherein we experience a relationship with God."
I must say at the outset that I don't know exactly what is meant by "forgive us fully" in reference to God's forgiveness. But if it refers to the forgiveness given by God to us in justification, then I think it is wrong to suggest that God cannot forgive us unless we repent. I think the scriptures teach that God forgives us purely based on his good pleasure. The traditional reformed view of salvation has, to my knowledge, not thought of repentance as a work which merits justification, but a (necessary) fruit which follows from a regenerate heart. Though this is a subtle difference, I think it is a crucial one if we are to understand our relation to God and others rightly. God does not deal with us in justification as partners with something to offer (other than sin), so to speak, but has dealt unilaterally with us. God's dealing with Abraham would be a good example of this, as would Paul's conversion experience.
It is necessary to preach repentance
(as did John the Baptist and Christ), and we are not to cheapen grace, but we must also remember that repentance does not merit God's forgiveness. I think this way of thinking is a subconscious carryover from the last 130-150 years of revivalist preaching, and does not portray a realistic view of the gospel.
The third sentence in the quote above from your post could probably better be stated: "God's forgiveness leads to reconciliation..." This is the idea Paul seems to be suggesting when in Romans 5 he says that we are reconciled to God in Christ, and by no other means.
I say all this not as a semantic debate, but just to make sure we understand how we are to love God and neighbor based on the gospel. Our forgiveness of others is not based on their repentance. I can't think of a place where Jesus or any other biblical writer suggests this. This seems to actually be counter to loving our enemies, who by definition, aren't repentant of their feelings and actions towards us. I am as much as anyone guilty of not forgiving others, but I don't think the way to handle our inability to forgive is to require others to repent. I think the way we handle it is by focusing on the fact that Christ, in his absolute perfection (that is, never having wronged anyone, least of all God) not only forgives, but also died for us. And with that focus we should pray for the Spirit to show us how and help us to forgive. We can't manufacture forgiveness, it is utterly contrary to our disposition as humans, but we can seek the Spirit's enabling grace.
The less time the blogs stay in my head, the less refined (or maybe reformed!) they appear on paper. Maybe I should have waited a week or two to write :-)!
Post a Comment