How Sad is Unforgiveness

Last night I was listening to something on my iPod, and heard one of the saddest things in a while. There is a man who bought his tombstone already as part of a pre-needs funeral package. Now that isn't sad or odd, just smart if you want to control what is on it. Not uncommon. But what is odd and sad is what he wanted on his tombstone. He started out normal. Picture of himself. Date of birth and date of death. Father, brother, friend. He also wanted the names and pictures of his two sons added to the tombstone. He also wanted a specific date for their dates of death. The person selling him the pre-need expressed his condolences upon the loss of his sons and inquired how they died. The man responded that they weren't dead, he just considered them dead to him. The man then gets excited at this point in the story to the pre-needs seller. He has a plan. His sons stole some money from him. He wants to get his revenge at his death so that he can have the last word. He wants for his sons to be sad and attending the funeral grieving, then arrive at the gravesite and see this tombstone with their names, pictures, and the date that they stole the money. They can't respond to his last word because he is dead. He will complete his plan of revenge. As if that is not sad enough, the man makes a regular habit of going out to the gravesite every 5-6 days to polish the tombstone, make sure the pictures aren't fading, imagining the looks on his sons faces when they attend the graveside, and basically walking deeper and deeper down the path of bitterness.

How sad is it that we tend to hold grudges. Although we may not go as far as this man, we always want to be the one to have the last word. I am so guilty of this. I have to have the last word, and it must be much more hurtful than the original wrong. Often I am right that I have been wronged, but I forget that God requires us to forgive and suffer in silence. I hold a grudge thinking that will hurt the person more. Unfortunately, that usually results in broken relationships and neither party is able to grow in Christ. This morning I read Spurgeon's Morning and Evening for today, and he reminded us that for the Christian, our sin should cause us more heartbreak than our suffering. My own sin of wanting and enacting a plan of revenge or holding onto my grudge should result in more sorrow than the pain I have suffered at the hands of someone else. I can literally count on my fingers the number of times that I have taken this attitude, and it would probably all fit on one hand. Why should this be so? At the cross, Jesus's greatest sorrow came from the weight of our sins that He took on for us. He asked the Father to forgive those who were crucifying Him instead of calling out for revenge, but suffered under the pain of knowing that He who knew no sin was becoming sin for us. Yet He was willing to endure because His eyes were set on the prize before Him - redemption of the saints. We need to also focus on the prize before us - becoming more Christ-like each and every day by allowing Him through the Holy Spirit to change our mind about sin, including the sins of failing to forgive.