Camelbak Water Bottle

I am not an environmentally concerned person. I am not one to really worry about the amount of trash I have. I do not recycle regularly even though that is available here. However, since becoming self-employed, I realized I was going through WAY too many bottles of water. While at the firm, I had a seemingly unlimited supply of cold water that claimed to be spring water and had very little taste. I do not like the taste of the tap water here so I became a bottled water addict once I entered the world of self-employment. I began to notice that I had too many water bottles everywhere waiting for the next trash day or recycling, and I would refrain from drinking water just because I did not want to throw away more bottles.

One day while shopping Target I ran across this water bottle:



I bought it on a whim, and I have been pleased with the purchase ever since. Due to its price and the price of the filters, I don't think it is cheaper (or it will take a while for it to be cheaper) than bottled water. However, I have noticed my water consumption returning to the pre-self-employment levels. The water tastes filtered coming from the bottle. The bottle is a convenient size. The filters supposedly last three months, and my experience has been that it was pretty close to the three month range before the taste suffered, and I think I used the first filter exactly three months (bought in late March/early April and changed in July). The filter system is easy to use. I have carried this bottle on trips, to camp, and all over the house. It is definitely a good alternative to drinking lots of bottled water. I still keep bottled water around for guests or to make Crystal Light since it is the act of using the straw to take a drink that filters the water. Additionally, the Camelbak, since it is a filter, is not made for flavored drinks, just water. Overall if you are a water drinker, I highly recommend this water bottle. I think it is worth the price for a single person drinking 3-4 bottles of water every day.

*The picture is a link to the Amazon listing for this water bottle. I bought mine at Target for a little bit more than this one, but I did not have to wait for it to ship. Also, my bottle is the charcoal bottle instead of like the one in the picture.

Homemade Refried Black Beans

I am a huge fan of black beans. I put them in almost everything. Today I decided to make refried beans with a can of black beans I had. All you have to do is mash them up and season them, right? Actually, yes that is all it took, and they tasted better than what you get out of a can!

Ingredients

1/4 an onion, chopped
1-2 teaspoons of garlic
1 can of black beans, mostly drained
1/2 small can of chiles
2 tablespoons chili powder
1-2 tablespoons cumin
1/2 teaspoon cayenne
Salt
Freshly ground pepper

Instructions

Spray pan with generous amount of cooking spray. Heat on medium and add onion and garlic to the pan cooking until the onions are softened. Push the onions to the side of the pan and add a spoonful of black beans. Let the beans sizzle for a few seconds, then mash with a potato masher. Stir together with the onions, push to the side, and repeat until all the beans have been added. Add the chiles and send through the masher again. Add the spices, simmer, then serve.

I don't really measure my spices, so these measurements are a suggestion. They are the approximate amounts that I used, and my beans were good and spicy. If you have a sensitive tongue, you may want to cut down on the chili powder and chile peppers. If you can take the heat, add the whole can. The nice thing about homemade refried beans is that the spices and the taste are up to you.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Signature Meatloaf

Meatloaf may be the ultimate comfort food. Having a meatloaf recipe to fall back on is almost as important as having a stocked spice pantry ... or toilet paper in the bathroom. I am exaggerating a little, although for someone like me who loves meatloaf, but is also picky about the taste of it, it is pretty close. I have worked and worked on creating a meatloaf recipe that I could remember without a recipe and could make regularly without worrying about how it is going to taste. I have looked at many different meatloaf recipes, and I finally decided that the recipes are just inspiration instead of to be followed exactly. Saturday I finally came up with something that is quite possibly the best meatloaf I have ever tasted. Meatloaf is one of those things that you might think your recipe is the best, but someone else may not share your opinion because taste in meatloaf is so personal. Gather a group of moms together to share their recipes, and you will probably discover the same number of recipes as the number of persons present.

Here is my signature meatloaf recipe:

1 lb ground turkey
2 lbs extra lean ground pork
1 small onion, chopped
1 can of Italian bread crumbs
1 lb (minus a little) shredded cheddar cheese
1-1/2 cups of ketchup (eyeballed instead of measured)
3/4 of a small can of sundried tomato pesto (but save the rest)
1 small can of tomato paste
1 onion, sliced

Combine the first 7 ingredients in the same way you always do when you make a meatloaf. The longer you work with it, the better it combines. Plus, no matter how nasty it is, you really do need to use your hands. Form into a loaf. Meanwhile, put a layer of onions in the bottom of the pan/crockpot for the meat to lay on (to keep the bottom from burning and to soak up the cheese and meat grease). Put the loaf on the bed of onions, and place some slices at the edges too if the loaf is leaning on any edges. Cook like you would any meatloaf (3-4 hours on high in the crockpot). Combine the remaining tomato pesto with the tomato paste and spread on the loaf halfway through cooking (or at the beginning if you like it burnt). Cook until the middle is 165 degrees so you can eat it cold the next day (you know you like cold meatloaf almost as much as you like warm meatloaf).

I do not know if it was the ground pork or the Italian spices that sent this meatloaf over the top for me. Maybe it was the cheese. I am thinking about using Italian cheeses the next time I make it to see if it tastes good that way too. However, it was perfect made this way ... for me at least. I am so happy to have found my signature meatloaf! Feel free to try my recipe and mix it up. Make it your own. Get to work on your signature meatloaf recipe!

Things I never thought I would say or do as a lawyer

I may or may not have recently told a client that donating plasma is a great way to raise money to buy a bus pass so that transportation would no longer be an issue. And to donate around court time so that a taxi could be hired.

I may or may not have recently said to a judge, "Please don't tell me that my client tried to use a whizzinator!" Judge's response, "Well, close. They made their own." [If you look up whizzinator, beware - don't say I didn't warn you! I first learned about these in a drug education course, so someone else had already looked it up!]

I may or may not have recently said that I was not going to starve no matter how good the person's case was just because they could not pay me the low price I was asking.

I may or may not have recently argued custody of a dog in a CPS case ... and won. Even worse, the parent was more upset that the custody of the dog was decided than that the temporary custody of the children was decided.

I may or may not have recently attempted 16 hearings in two counties on the same day. Although I prepared for 16, I ended up handling only 12 in two counties on the same day. Still an exhausting day!

I may or may not have recently decided to take a nap during the middle of the day, resulting in the need to work until 8 or 9 that night. Self-employment rocks!

Dealing with the Pro Se Opponent

While at the firm, I ran across pro se litigants very rarely, in part because I was not doing as much family law. Now I am running into more and more pro se parties on the other side. I think there are certain rules that need to be communicated to those who want to have themselves for a client:

(1) Rule #1: Do not expect everyone else to do your work for you. It is your job to draft, your job to read what is sent, your job to understand it. If it has legalese in it, go look it up in a legal dictionary. If it quotes a statute, go look it up because most statutes are online for free. If you are not going to hire an attorney, you need to be prepared to put in the work that an attorney would put in because no one is going to do the work for you.

(2) Rule #2: Opposing counsel is not there to do you favors. Just because you think the outcome is wrong does not mean you should call the attorney on the other side and try to change their minds. In fact, the outcome was probably pretty favorable to the attorney's client, and it would be malpractice for the attorney to suddenly take your side. It is the Court you have to convince, not opposing counsel.

(3) Rule #3: Do not call during the height of your emotional outburst. You are not thinking rationally, so it is impossible for the attorney to communicate with you. I get that you are mad, feel like the system failed, feel that Goliath beat David, feel that I used my influence to push things through, but there is nothing I am going to do about it. In fact most of the time opposing counsel will start trying to use a rational argument with the pro se litigant, then give up and resort to either yelling or silence. Silence is my tactic of choice.

(4) Rule #4: Do not lie about something that can be independently verified. Attorneys specialize in paperwork. Chances are the attorney has the paperwork to prove that you are lying. It is also quite possible that the attorney has the credibility with the Court necessary to just show the paperwork.

(5) Rule #5: Read what you sign. You cannot use the defense, "well s/he told me that signing this would make such and such occur." Have you ever considered that the person giving you this advice is going up against you in the matter?

(6) Rule #6: Stop quoting this mysterious "lawyer" who is supposedly reading the paperwork and giving you advice. For one, this person rarely exists. Making up a "lawyer" is not going to cause the lawyer to start questioning his or her capability on a case. If the person does exist, they are probably giving free advice and therefore, not that great of advice. Just because a person has a JD after their name does not mean that they know all the nuances of the area of law you are asking them about. Bankruptcies attorneys may know nothing about family law except what they learned in law school 20 years ago and vice versa. (Same thing goes for doctors too!) Also, if you are not paying them for research, they probably are not researching your issue to find out if what you are saying is correct. Finally, they probably have not heard the whole story because that would probably take a minimum of an hour to tell, and most of us are too busy to give an hour. When you quote the mysterious "lawyer," this is what I am thinking and I am sure other attorneys are thinking the same thing.

(7) Rule #7: Come to Court. I follow the rule that even if a waiver is signed, I give notice of hearings. I also, when the person is not represented by an attorney, try to make that waiver as favorable to the pro se litigant as possible. Why? Because the pro se person never comes to Court, and is always unhappy with what the judge decides because they were not their to tell their side. The State of Texas tells me that when you sign a waiver, I provide you notice, you do not agree with the proposed order, and you do not show, then I can proceed and my client is going to be able to talk about whatever s/he wants to talk about which may or may not result in an order that is less favorable to you than the one I sent to you. The main place this comes up is child support. If there is no agreement, there is going to be child support entered because I am not going to present the evidence as to why child support should not be entered. Doing so might result in my client having a complaint against me, and I am there to represent my client. This can all be avoided if the pro se litigant would just show up to Court.

(8) Rule #8: Dress appropriately. If you are representing yourself, it is probably smart to dress the part. A suit is a good idea. Caring enough to wear a suit gives the appearance of preparation even if you do not know what you are doing. This goes even for clients who are represented by counsel because club attire is not appropriate for Court. Also, undergarments should be worn to Court.

(9) Rule #9: Do not talk back to the Court. It is amazing how disrespectful some pro se litigants are towards the Court. The person in the black robe is not like your mother and father who you could run all over. S/He is not like your teacher at school who was confined to certain discipline methods. S/He can throw you in jail. S/He can take away your access to your children. S/He can fine you money. You had better be nice to the Court!

(10) Rule #10: Since you are not my client, I do not have to talk to you every time you call. This may be more of a personal rule than an across the board rule. I try to be respectful and call you back, but when the conversations are not productive, cost my client money, and start numbering three to four a day, I am going to start ignoring one or two of them. You can correspond with me in writing if you want to get your point across because thirty minutes of ranting or arguing just waste my time. My duty is not to you.

I understand that lawyers are pricey. I truly believe that a citizen can go into court and represent themselves if they are willing to put the time and effort into being an expert on their case. It is probably more advisable to have a lawyer because the law is technical. There is a reason that I had to go to extra school and pay thousands of dollars. If you make the choice to represent yourself, understand that legal work is time consuming and requires research and paperwork. Be willing to put forth the effort so that you are respectful of the Court and opposing counsel. The statutes can be found for free on the Internet so start with those instead of a general legal help site that is not state specific. Whatever you do, if you are going to say that opposing counsel or the Court is wrong, be ready to back it up with statute or evidence following the correct procedure instead of complaining once the order is complete. These are just a few tips for those brave enough to represent themselves so that they do not also represent a fool.

Being Sensitive to Suffering

I have clearly seen throughout my adult life how God usually prepares us to go through the things we go through. I feel like God gives us little warnings before the unexpected happens. Maybe it is more of a benefit of a life of discipline. When we are disciplined enough to be faithful to the study of God's word, we can find ourselves prepared.

I have been going through a 2 Thessalonian precept study. I did not really want to do 2 Thessalonian this spring, but I feel that when the opportunity presents itself, and there are no other ministries that take priority over a Bible study, you should do it. This week's study was over the first chapter. One of the insights I had while studying the first chapter, reading verses on suffering and affliction, and looking up the Greek definitions of the words is that suffering is much deeper than just suffering ridicule for the sake of the gospel. It comes from Christians and non-Christians alike when you are being obedient to God's word. You will take actions that no one understands when you are being obedient. Part of obedience is getting involved in people's lives to the point that when they suffer, you suffer with them. We limit suffering for the sake of the gospel when I think it is a little broader when we are loving our neighbor and getting involved in their lives.

For example, Jesus befriended Mary, Martha and Lazarus. He was involved in their lives. Lazarus got sick and died, and Jesus suffered. He was grieved by the pain of His friends Mary and Martha even though He knew that God would be glorified in Lazarus' resurrection in the end. He was sensitive to their suffering even though He knew the outcome. He ministered to them in their grief. He went through this grief for the sake of the gospel. Ultimately God was glorified.

Yesterday, I received news that my little guy in New Orleans lost almost everything in a fire that completely destroyed their apartment. By completely, I mean that no possession other than a few shoes in the back of the closet seem recognizable. Even though I knew that God would provide for them and that things will probably be better for them in the end, there is still a sensitivity to their suffering that must be shown. It breaks my heart to think of some of the things that they have lost. Some of it can sort of be replaced such as pictures because I have most of the pictures anyway and clothes and toys and books, but there are also those things that cannot be replaced. When you get caught up in someone's life, you have to be willing to suffer with them. You have to be ready to sacrifice something of yourself. You have to be ready to grieve. Even though no one ridiculed my faith or held a gun to my head, I believe that it was a day of suffering for the gospel. If I did not love my little guy and his mother, I would have just thought it was a sad situation, but not allowed it to disrupt my life. Instead, so that God may be glorified, I allowed myself to suffer with them. I could show them love through actions, not just words of comfort. Even better, not too long after I received news of the fire, I received an e-mail from a friend I have not heard from in months on the subject of suffering. God is so good to us!

American Idol 2011 - My Thoughts So Far

I thought after the first week that I would not watch this season. I could not stand Steven Tyler as a judge. Still cannot, which I know puts me in the minority. However, I have been able to look past him and enjoy the season so far. The main reason I was able to look past him - Jordan Dorsey. He was the first featured auditioner for the New Orleans audition. I liked him then, I like him now. Yes, he is diva like, or was portrayed that way during the Hollywood round. However, he is good.

Also, who is this Paul McDonald guy and why do I not know more about him? All of a sudden it is like the producers said, wait a minute, we do not have much footage of this guy and he is going to the top twenty-four, so we had better get something put out there about him. I feel like I need to know more! His voice is mesmerizing, and I know no other way to describe it. I am glad we get to hear more, more, more. Of course he could totally bomb the live show and make me realize why we have not seen much of him.

I was sad to see John Wayne go, only because I thought he looked good in a cowboy hat. I think both cowboys should have stayed and let the guy who cut Jacee out of the group go. I do not care if the guy who shall not be named ends up having the most talent in the universe, I will not vote for him because of how he treated Jacee. He should have done the Jordan thing and left the group if he thought that Jacee was not a fit. My college roommate's little girl called Jacee the chubby Justin Bieber. I think that is fitting! As for the other cowboy, Scotty, I hope I never have to hear that song from him again and that he can now move on to something else!

As far as the girls go, I am not impressed with many. I like the young country chick named Lauren, but then she showed up dressed like cowgirl Barbie (the show's words, not mine). I usually feel this way about the girls at this point in the season, so there is still a chance I will be wowed.

I already have contestants that I cannot stand and make me feel the way Sanjaya made the world feel. I hope they go soon. I fear they will not. Although I agree that the guy's rendition of "God Bless the Child" was good, he has got to go! Nothing else he did was good. End of story. There is also he who must not be named. I also was not impressed like the judges were with Thia Magia or whatever her rhyming name is. I tend to agree more with the voice coach on that one. Her voice has a flatness in it that is just annoying!

Well, I hoped that this year might be the year I break my addiction, but I am hooked instead. I do think that there is a tremendous amount of talent this year. I think that it is going to be hard to forget some of the ones cut if they do come back next year to try out again like the judges seem to want (and the producers too because how can you forget Jacee ... although it will be interesting if his voice changes!). The show seems no better, no worse, which is saying a lot since I do miss Simon. I am glad that the show is finally out of the preliminary stuff and on to the singing competition. Let the real competition begin!

Excuses, Excuses

Whenever someone finds out that the part of my job that I enjoy the most is representing children in CPS cases, I am usually met with excuse after excuse after excuse. I think I am going to do a global response to the excuses, although I usually am much more politically correct when I actually respond to the person. Here is what I really wish I could say.

(1) Excuse #1: I could never do that, it would just be too hard.

I usually say, yes, it is hard. I still feel like I should do it anyway. What I really want to say is, if you think it is hard for you, think about the child that has no one to speak for them. Think about the child that has lived it. Might it be nice for that child to know that someone felt what happened to them was wrong? Might it be nice for the child to know that it is not their fault, and might you be able to tell them that? Might it be nice for the child to see that you cared enough to get involved when their parent does not even care enough to go to a few parenting classes and drug rehab? The child is going through things that adults want to close their eyes and ears to and that the child is not able to comprehend.

The right perspective to have is that it is a hard job that we are called to do. The Bible makes it very clear that Christians are to be the voice for the fatherless, the orphan, the oppressed. There are not outs. It is what God requires. It is not my command, but God's. This does not mean that the only way to help the fatherless, orphans, oppressed is by getting involved in some capacity in CPS cases. What this does mean is that if you look at your life and cannot see a way that you are helping the orphan and fatherless, you might be sinning. Although I have great respect for Compassion (and support some children myself), I think that this means more than just sending a check to an agency to do the work for you. I think it means getting involved and speaking out on behalf of the oppressed. For me, it means being an attorney for the children (and parents). For you, it might look like getting involved in CASA, volunteering to be checked into for a respite possibility for a person who is housing a child, or looking into fostering. It might even look like stepping in to help a family BEFORE the state comes in and befriending that family. Take some time to teach someone how to parent. Is it tough? Yes. Is it worth it? Yes, if for no other reason than knowing that you are in God's will because His scripture commands it.

(2) Excuse #2: I would just worry about the children all the time and be unable to sleep at night

I have had very few sleepless nights as a result of my CPS work. Part of the reason is that by the time that the case gets to me, the children are out of danger. Yes, I have feared for the children when the judge put them back with a parent. I also have called a caseworker to move the kids because I feared for their safety. When you are in the case, if you really fear for the child, you are able to do something about it. I guarantee you that I would lose more sleep from the realization that I am not in God's will than I lose knowing I am at least trying to fulfill His will. My response is usually that I sleep just fine, you learn to shut your brain off. What I wish I could say is how are you able to sleep when you are doing nothing and this is going on all around you? You should be the one losing sleep!

(3) Excuse #3: I do not have the time

I am usually pretty blunt with this one and suggest that the person find a way to make time, whether it be by volunteering one hour a month at a local pregnancy center, a little more to be a CASA volunteer, or donating some time to a local group home. I always emphasize the giving of time more than money in that situation. See I usually know that the person who says it religiously watches American Idol or Biggest Loser or some other TV show that takes at least an hour of their time each and every week. I do not usually get this excuse from the young mother who really does not have spare time and is raising her children in the way that God lays out in Scripture and truly may be in a season where sending the Compassion money and donation checks is how she is able to contribute.

(4) Excuse #4: If I helped out other kids, it would take something away from my own

My usual response is a faked, obviously lying, "I understand." I compound sin by sinning myself. Really, I do not understand. This is the excuse that gets under my skin the most. The reason it does is because those who say it are usually the people that are idolizing their children. They do not see themselves as idolizing their children. However, they are the ones that are posting tons of pictures of their own children in the best of clothes with the best of stuff taking the best vacations and bragging about the accomplishments of the children. The children become the center of the parents' universe. The children become even more important than God, often made clear by the parent choosing the child's activities over religious upbringing. I am not saying that if a parent has a hard time feeding their own child, that they should take a foster child in. I am saying that when a parent spends all of their time and energy and money on their child instead of teaching the child to do without in service to others, there is a problem. The children often grow up selfish and conceited and do not have a concept of sacrificing for the benefit of others.

I propose that families should evaluate whether fostering and adopting might be a way to put the gospel on display for natural born children. Instead of saying that it might take something away from the natural born children, families should look at how children might learn about the gospel through the family's actions. Christians are God's children by adoption. Think about how great it might be to show children about how God adopts us through an earthly adoption. If adoption is not the route that can be pursued for various valid reasons, consider at least teaching your children about the needs of the fatherless and orphans and oppressed and let them see what you are doing to help. It does not help your children for you to shelter them or even try to, especially when you send that child to public school. Guess what. There is a pretty good chance that your child is going to school with another child who is being abused, neglected, talking about drugs, using curse words all before the child is a teenager. Your children are exposed to it day in and day out. Teach them to be part of the solution.

If your sixteen year old son is on drugs, yes, you probably need to focus on that child. If your children are babies and toddlers, you probably are right that it may not be best to foster/adopt at that time.

(5) Excuse #5: There might be something wrong with the child and I do not know if I can handle it

I usually say, you are right but there are ways provided for you to handle it. If you are a CASA volunteer who finds yourself in over your head, there are others who are more experienced that can step in. If you are a foster parent who finds yourself in over your head, there are opportunities to change the child's level of care so that they can get the help they need. If you are a prospective adoptive parent, you will have the child in your home for six months (at a minimum) before the adoption will go through. I also hate to burst your bubble, but your natural born child can reject the morals and values he/she was raised under, and break your heart too. It is part of the sacrifice you make when you start to actually love by thinking of the other person's well being before your own. You may have to make some tough decisions that may include the child being outside of your home, but in some situations you can continue a relationship with the child even when you are unable to provide the forever home.

(6) Excuse #6: That is easy for you to say, you do not have children

I usually get this one when I have accidentally lost control of my tongue and said any of the what I really want to say in #1-5. I usually respond to this one with all honesty by saying, "You are right. I realize that if God blesses me with children, I am going to have the temptations to make any of these excuses about why I should not get involved. I can only thank God now that He has made it clear to me that it is a command, not an option, and it is His will. I also have to pray that if I do have children, God will guard me from the temptation to use any of the excuses for not getting involved. I also pray that if I ever stray from God's will in this matter, someone will have the courage to point out to me my sin. I may not take it well, I may be offended, but I still hope someone will point it out to me."

(7) Excuse #7: I am not called to do that kind of work

Yes, you are ... by God ... in the Bible. You are called to do justice, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with God. You are called to help the widow, orphan, fatherless, poor and oppressed. There are no exceptions given that I have found. You want to know God's will for your life? It says it in the scriptures by the type of things we are commanded to do. Stop waiting for a direct call, and start following commandments. It is as simple as that ... and often the direct call comes from the obedience.

I fully recognize that there are other places in scripture that I am not fully following the commands that God has laid out. However, I hope that I will not use the excuse, "That is not my calling." There are exceptions in Scripture for titles, but not lifestyles of obedience. I know there are areas I need to work on. I pray that I can stop making excuses in those areas. I also pray that I can continue to follow God's will in the areas I do recognize are part of His commandments, not suggestions.

Safety First?

One of the problems with the current state of the church is that churches are obsessed with safety. Members are willing to say that they would die for Jesus, but they are not willing to do things that would put them in the position to do it, all in the name of safety. There are certain parts of town that we cannot go to, even to share the gospel, because it is not safe. We cannot continue to have our building in that location because the neighborhood has gone downhill and our cars might get broken into.

There is another aspect of safety that I think is damaging the church even worse. This is safety in relationships. You see, when you start to spend time with people and dare to love them, you are inevitably going to get hurt. You might be hurt by something that they do. You might be hurt by something that they go through. People in the church seem unwilling to let people in, to spend time with people, to make friendships at church a priority. Sure, we claim to be friends because we look at their posts on Facebook and sit with them on Sunday morning and maybe even eat lunch together, but it does not go much beyond that. We do not take each other seriously. Instead we have created this false church friendship that might bring meals when you have surgery or comment on your Facebook posts with godly encouragement, but is not willing to get down to the sinful level of your life. We might even shed a tear or two about what the other person is going through. However, we do not take the time to make a real difference in the person's life. This is all another attempt to keep ourselves safe.

I struggle with actually making relationships meaningful. I think that we do not really love each other, even in the church. If we loved each other, we would make each other a priority. We would not abandon the person going through a tough time. I see glimpses of persons in the church actually showing love, and I am encouraged by it. However, I also see so many looking out for number one and wanting praise for what they do instead of being willing to be a friend without praise and recognition. You are supposed to be a friend even when it is hard. Even when the other person screws up. Even when the other person makes the same mistake over and over and over. I think that the problem we have with friendship, even in the church, is trying to figure out what is in it for us when we do have the friend. We want the friend that is going to remember our birthday and give us encouragement and call us for lunch. We do not want the friend that is going to expect us to do those things and give nothing in return. However, we should continue to be the friend even when we are used and neglected and taken advantage of because we should be in the friendship for the benefit of the other person. Think about how different our churches would look if we started looking at our relationships in how we could benefit the other person instead of how that person can benefit you. Think about how much deeper our friendships would go. Sure, you would end up with people in your life that would use you then reject you once they feel that your use is up. But you would also find diamond in the rough friendships where you least expect it. I pray that I can become more of that type of friend that does not value my own safety, physically and emotionally, above love.

Candy Making

During the extra day off that I was able to take at Christmas, I decided to start teaching myself how to make candy. I am not talking about the chocolate you pop in the microwave, stir some nuts into, and call it candy making. Although those treats are good, there is something even better about old fashioned candy making. It is a cooking art that is going out of style in exchange for quickness and convenience.

Candy making is time consuming. It is not necessarily hard, although I have ruined a few batches of fudge and toffee. It requires patience. Lots of patience. Too much patience in the case of the unruined batch of toffee that was not according to instructions but was SO good! When you have stirred the toffee for over an hour, you begin to wonder if it is worth it. It was. When you review the instructions and see that you were not supposed to stir it and decide to take the non-stir approach, it is not worth it. It comes out too hard. I know that now.

My mom likes to tell how my grandmother and a friend would get together and make candy at Christmas time. I think that is something we are missing as a society. Since we shortcut things like baking and candy making and want to use mixes and boxes and microwaves, we miss out on the fellowship that comes along with having the patience to stir the candy. I am on a mission to bring candy making back in fashion. I am trying to recruit family members at Christmas time and even some ladies at church to make this a fellowship time. For one, the old fashioned fudge that is hard and grainy takes a lot of arm strength to stir, and I think it should be a team effort. The finished product is worth it though.

My family now has a candy maker in it. I have successfully accomplished soft toffee, fudge, chocolate mint fudge (soft), and pralines. I am trying to perfect my technique on the soft toffee and the chocolate mint fudge (and try different flavors of fudge). I have even attempted crockpot candy (still working on that one too). I feel like the product of a previous generation, one that took the time to create something great instead of buying it at the nearest store or using a shortcut for something almost as good. My fudge mistakes have been a nice addition to my morning coffee and to brownies (well, the batch that could be salvaged!). I have learned that my candy thermometer is one notch off in temperature. I have learned wooden spoons are the best, unless you are making toffee. I have also learned you can make candy on a humid day, just use a space heater to dry out the air in the room. I am not brave enough to attempt something like divinity yet, but I am sure that day will come. Maybe next Christmas when I have someone around who actually like divinity and can tell me if it tastes right. Until then I will continue to teach myself how to make candy in hopes that I can share my knowledge with others some Saturday soon and revive candy making in my generation.